No Regrets
by LainaLuvLife9
Summary: Dallas Winston was a wreck after Johnny died. The only thing keeping him from suicide was the gang, until he falls for Cherry Valance. But there's only one person who can convince Dally that he should have no regrets... and he's long gone.
1. Chapter 1

No Regrets

Ch 1:

"_You don't just stop living because you lose someone." _

~Darry Curtis (The Outsiders)

Johnny was dead. Dallas was about to kill himself. I couldn't lose both of them. My head was pounding, in rhythm to my heart, but I couldn't care less. He was a fast runner, but I knew I was faster. Despite the searing pain of my ribs and head, I surged forward. I was finally neck in neck with Dallas Winston, and then I tackled him to the ground.

There were flashing lights, screaming, cursing. I could feel Dally under me, cussing and slugging me. I refused to move, some weird part of me was telling me to protect him. A strong arm pulled me up, and I could hear Soda yell my name, someone was dragging me away.

"Get off of me." I growled, but my vision was too fuzzy to see who it was. I could hear cops yelling Dally's name, and I remembered what was going on.

"The guns a bluff." I whispered. The person who was holding me up promptly dropped me, and then everything went black.

I blinked open my eyes, but the bright light stunned me, forcing me to close my eyes again. I groaned, feeling pain coursing through my stiff body.

"Ponyboy?" Someone whispered. I opened my eyes, slowly, letting them adjust to the light. Soda's usually sparkling brown eyes were staring down at me in worry, but today they were dull.

"What happened?" My voice was hoarse and sounded terrible. Sodapop looked nervous. I looked around, realizing I was in my bedroom. Shouldn't I be in the hospital? Soda sighed, drawing my attention back to him.

"Do you remember any of it?" He asked a blank expression on his face. Some of it came flooding back to me, watching Johnny die, Dally running out of the hospital, me tackling Dally before he got caught by the police. My breath caught in my throat, and Soda smiled sadly.

"Is… Dally…?" I trailed off, unable to finish the terrible sentence.

"He's in jail. You saved his life, no of us knew it was a bluff." My heart rate sped up, he was alive! Soda continued what he was saying.

"Darry's working on bailing him out now. Knowing Darry, Dallas will be out in no time." I grinned, and tried to sit up. The pain seemed bearable now that I knew that he was going to be okay. Maybe we couldn't have saved Johnny, but at least we still saved Dallas from doing something really stupid. I put Johnny out of my thoughts before I choked up, remembering that I couldn't think about him. It hurt too much.

"How long have I been out?" That horrid night seemed like a lifetime ago.

"About three days. You were pretty sick, but your fever is gone." I frowned, not remembering anything. Oh well, it probably wasn't important.

"Where is everyone?" I asked, realizing how quiet it was. Soda paced by my bed before turning to me.

"I'll explain in a minute, I'm going to get you some breakfast and water first." The growling hunger that gnawed at my stomach suddenly made its presence known, along with my dry mouth. I nodded my head numbly, leaning back on my pillow. Soda disappeared into the kitchen, and I could hear him banging around for a minute. Finally he appeared back in my doorway with a large slice of cake and a glass of water. I dug into the cake, enjoying its rich chocolaty taste. Soda sat on the edge of my bed and watched me for a minute. I chugged half of the water down, then looked at Soda expectantly.

"Darry is at court with Steve. Two Bit is explaining everything to Cherry." My heart leapt when Soda spoke her name, but I wished it didn't. I couldn't fall for Cherry. It would be wrong. She's a Soc, I'm a Grease. I'm 14, she's 17. She's untouchable.

"Is Dally in jail right now?" I asked. Soda nodded. Everything seemed fine to me, but Soda still looked worried.

"What's wrong? You look upset." I tilted my head at him, frowning. Soda brushed his silky hair off of his forehead. He looked really stressed.

"Dally's a mess. I mean, I know Johnny's was everyone's pet, but Dallas is a lot more beat up about it then I thought." Soda bit his lip.

"He won't eat. He won't talk to anyone. He keeps talking about killing himself. I'm real worried, because he's dead serious." I put my cake on my side table, I had lost my appetite.

"I want to go visit him." Soda knotted his eyebrows together.

"Kid, everyone tried talking to him. He won't listen to anybody." I shook my head. This couldn't be happening.

"I'm going to talk to him." I said firmly. Soda looked at my determined expression and let out an exasperated sigh.

"Want me to drive you?" He knew best not to argue when I was in this mood.

"Yeah, just let me get ready." Soda went to go write a note for Darry in case he got back early, and I changed out of my bloodstained clothes. I had bruises and cuts all over me, and I think one of my ribs was broken from the rumble. The cuts had been cleaned and bandaged though, so they must have had the doctor here or something. I combed my hair, but decided to leave it un-greased today. There was gauze wrapped around my head, but I just brushed around it. There was no time anyhow to try to take it off.

About ten minutes later, I and Soda were driving Two-Bit's car down toward the jail. I was shaking in anticipation, I was eager to set Dally right. I wanted to prove to the rest of the gang that I wasn't as useless as they thought. The whole hero thing had gotten to me, I wanted to help Dally.

We pulled into the jail parking lot, and I hopped out of the car. Soda trailed behind me. There were armed guards at the doors, but they let us pass. We walked into a waiting room, where a middle age lady was talking to the receptionist and bawling. I drew my eyes away, I hated when girls cried. We waited until the woman sat down in a chair, still sniffling. I walked up to the receptionist, who regarded me with a sneer.

"How may I help you?" She asked in a nasal voice, her tone utterly bored.

"I'm here to see Dallas Winston." The receptionist flipped through some papers before asking me my name, relationship, and year of birth. I replied to all truthfully, and finally some guards led me through some large steel doors. There were lines of double paned glass, benches, and telephones. There were people in orange jumpsuits on one side of the glass, and guard escorting all of them. Then a guard walked out of a door, leading Dallas.

His white-blonde hair was disheveled, sticking up randomly. His ice blue eyes weren't sneering at people as usual, they diverted to the ground instead. His head was hung, and he didn't look himself. He didn't look like the confident, reckless, hood I knew. And it scared me.

The guard shoved Dally onto the bench across from me. Dallas didn't even glare at him. He stared at me through the glass, his gaze unfocused. I picked up one of the telephones, my hand shaking. He mimicked me.

"Hi." I said quietly. I could only hear his breathing for a moment.

"Why are you here?" He asked. His voice was hoarse, broken. A pang went through me.

"I wanted to talk to you." I replied simply. He still stared at me, waiting.

"It's not your fault Dally." I whispered. "None of it is. He loved you more than anything. I thought you needed to remember that, remember that he would want you to move on." Dallas looked away from me, his face hard.

"I don't need to know this. He's gone." Dally's voice cracked.

"He wanted me to show you a sunset." I blurted. Dallas looked at me again. He opened his mouth like he wanted to say something, but closed it again. Then Dally did something that I would never expect him to do. He started crying.

I could only stare in shock as the tears ran down his face. His eyes didn't get red or puffy like other peoples did when they were crying. He just looked blank, but he was definitely crying. I never thought I would witness the day where Dallas Winston would break. But here he was in front of me, breaking down because of Johnny.

"The second I get out of this shit-hole…" He took a deep breath, steadying himself. "We are going to watch a flipping sunset. You hear me?" I grinned, as Dallas wiped away his tears and pointed at me, a mischievous smile on his face. I nodded, smiling.

"Times up." Dally's guard announced. He grabbed Dallas's arm and pulled him up, but Dally shook him off. I couldn't wipe the smirk off of my face.

"I don't need you to escort me." Dallas was snarling as he was being led away. He turned his head around and winked at me, before disappearing around the corner.

I would have run back to where Soda was waiting, but the guard prevented me from doing just that. Sodapop and I left right away, driving Two-Bit's car where the owner would be. During the car ride I blabbed about how Dallas was going to be okay and how I convinced him. Soda seemed distracted, only nodding to my explanation. Finally I just decided to shut up, and we spent the last five minutes of the ride in complete silence.

We reached a nice big house, which I assumed was Cherry's. Soda and I walked to the door and used the brass knocker. I could hear footsteps and then the door flung open. All I could see was a flash of red and then Cherry was hugging me. My heart fluttered as she squeezed me and said my name. Finally she pulled away, gave Soda a quick hug, and then looked over both of us.

"How are you two? Come in." We followed her into her large foyer, her long red hair swinging over her shoulders.

"We're okay, thanks." I said quietly. Cherry bit her lip and glanced at her bare feet. She was wearing casual jeans and a madras shirt, I never seen a Soc look so…. Non Soc like.

"Are you guys here for Two-Bit?" She asked, tilting her head to one side. Soda and I nodded. Cherry grimaced.

"Yall just missed him. He explained… everything." Her voice grew less excited and more concerned. Soda crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against the stairway railing. I suddenly noticed how worn he looked, with dark circles under his eyes and his hair scraggly.

"I'm so sorry." She whispered, looking straight into my eyes. Her eyes were watery.

"We don't want pity." I snapped. I didn't mean to be so rude; it was just a touchy subject for all of us now. Cherry nodded, sighing.

"I understand." Everyone was silent for a moment.

"So where are your folks?" Soda asked, eager to change to the subject.

"They went to lunch." Cherry replied. There was an awkward silence. I shifted uncomfortably.

"We are going to find Two-Bit now, thanks Cherry." Soda said quickly. Cherry smiled sadly, her soft green eyes glinting in the light.

"Call me if you need me for anything." I murmured thanks quickly, and then we hopped back in the car. We started driving back to our place, and we found Two-Bit on the way. I rolled down the window and yelled out to Two-Bit as Soda skidded to a stop a few feet in front of him.

"Hey! Jump in." He lifted his head and looked at me. For once he didn't crack a joke; he just hopped into the car.

"Car stealers." He muttered, leaning his head against the window. I wondered if the rest of the gang was this worn. We reached my house to see that no one else was there. Two-Bit plopped on the couch and turned on the TV, putting on a cartoon. I grabbed the latest book I had been reading and sat on one of the arm chairs. Soda went to make himself a sandwich. I had read about two pages of my book when the phone rang.

"I got it!" Soda yelped, his voice muffled. I could only here one side of the conversation, so I was pretty confused until Soda said 'He's out?' I jumped up from the chair, dropping my book, and ran to Soda's side.

"He's out?" I whispered. Soda nodded, his eyes sparkling again. I bounced on the balls of my feet for a minute while Soda talked. Finally I couldn't take it anymore, so I ran into the living room and grabbed Two-Bit.

"Dally's out! Darry got Dally out of jail!" Two-Bit grinned, jumping up and putting me in a headlock. He ruffled my hair for a moment before letting me go, and both of us dashed back to the kitchen. We bounced around Soda, him trying to swat us away. He hung up and jumped around with us, him grinning wildly.

"Where are they?" I wondered out loud.

"Heading home right now." Soda took a big bite out of the sandwich he had made; it had five layers of meat. I had always marveled at how he stayed so lean.

"Everyone's coming here?" I asked. Soda raised his eyebrows at me.

"Yeah. So?" I shrugged. That's a lot of people to fit in our little house.

"I'm going to make some sandwiches for everyone. Scat!" Two-Bit rolled his eyes and went back into the living room. I walked into my room and tided everything absentmindedly. I listened intently for the door, the announce of everyone's arrival. Even though I had seen Dallas this morning, I was excited to see him and the gang together again. I almost felt guilty thinking that, remembering that Johnny couldn't be here with us. I felt my throat close up at the thought of him, and tried to focus on the good things.

Before I could think of any, I heard lots of chatter coming from the doorway. Smiling to myself, I sauntered into the front room. The small room was alive with chatter and the overcrowding of the 5 large guys.

All of them looked exhausted, but happy all the same. Darry had plopped onto his favorite arm chair, his eyes drooping. He was wearing a nice suit and tie, and I briefly wondered how he got it. Soda was standing behind him, rubbing his shoulders and chatting with Steve. Dally had a beer bottle in his hands and was laughing loudly, him and Two-Bit were joking around. I walked over to them, exchanging smiles with Soda and Darry, then joined Dal and Two-Bit.

"Hey yall." I said casually, leaning against my kitchen counter. Dallas gave me a quirky smile and ruffled my hair.

"How are ya Pony?" Dallas surprisingly didn't sound drunk. Maybe a little loopy, but nothing more. We started chatting about the case, Dally explaining how Darry had won the judge over. I was half listening, the other half of me puzzled over if I had been hallucinating earlier when Dallas had shown the softer side to him. Right now he seemed perfectly normal. Had my little outburst really changed his mind about everything? Just then Soda whistled to get everyone attention, and everyone turned their heads in his direction.

"Everyone come over here, I got to tell yall something." The boys scattered around Soda, some plopping down on the couch, others leaning against counters. Eager looks were present in everyone's expressions. Even Dallas looked mildly interested, which was a first.

"Okay, so there's a rodeo in town this weekend, you dig?" Dallas raised his pale eyebrows, nodding. I could here murmurs of the rest of the guys, but I was focusing on Dally.

"And I signed me and ol'Dallas up here." Soda wrapped his arm around Dallas who grinned.

"I thought you weren't allowed to ride?" Two-Bit asked curiously. Darry sighed, cracking his eyes to glare at Soda. Sodapop was shaking his head at Two-Bit, his eyes wide. I giggled, he looked pretty stupid.

"You are not riding." Darry growled, getting to his feet. Even when he was dog-tired, he was still scary. Soda shrunk into the wall, pleading with his eyes.

"Aw common Darry, I tore that ligament over a year ago. I ain't going to get hurt!" Whenever Soda was begging someone he always started talking real-country like. I always thought it just made him look (and sound) ridiculous.

"No. You will just hurt yourself again." Darry said firmly. He sunk back in his chair, but his punishment still clouded over the room.

"Come on Darryl, that was a long time ago." This time it was Dallas who spoke. Everyone looked at the two of them. Tension filled the air. No one called Darry Darryl. Darry clenched his jaw and glared at Dallas. Dally looked indifferent.

"I say he won't." Darry argued. Dallas smirked and shook his head.

"He's doing this as a treat for me. Don't ruin it." Two-Bit let out a low whistle. Darry stood up again, his eyes focused on Dally.

"I'm his guardian, and I don't want him riding." Soda eyes were big; he didn't expect Dally to get into this. Dally just smirked.

"He's old enough to make decisions for himself. That was your Dad that made that rule, he's dead now." A shocked silence fell. Darry lunged at Dallas, swinging at him. Everyone but me through themselves between Dallas and Darry. I was too stunned to move. I felt like I had been punched in the gut. I couldn't believe that Dally had used the dad excuse. That was going too far. Everyone was a mix of punching and cussing. Dallas and Darry lunged at each other, while Two-Bit, Soda, and Steve tried to push them apart.

"Hey." I said, but their scrambling drowned me out. "HEY!" I screamed a second time. They all fell silent, staring at me. I could feel tears quivering in the back of my eyes.

"Why are we doing this? Fighting like Socs would?" Darry dropped his eyes to ground.

"We need to stay together, even more than before. We don't…" I gulped. "We don't have Johnny anymore to pull us back together if we fall apart." Dallas eyes got big when I mentioned Johnny. Everyone was deadly quiet. Dallas dropped Two-Bit arm, which he had been grabbing to pull Two-Bit away from Darry.

"I'm sorry." He whispered. I had never heard Dally apologize for anything, not once in his entire life. He was trembling slightly. He sunk down on the couch and put his head in his hands, his shoulders shaking. Soda sat next to him, resting his hand gently on Dally's arm. Steve's eyes were watering; he sat on the other side of Soda. I felt grief fill through me, I was numb. I felt like bawling myself, but I held back. Darry walked to his room, looking upset.

Dallas pushed away from Soda and leaned back on the couch, looking surly. His eyes were red, and his jaw was tight. He looked straight at me.

"Don't. Don't mention him." He snapped. I nodded stiffly. Dally closed his eyes, and Soda left the room wordlessly. Two-Bit had left at some point during my little speech. Steve glared at me and left me alone with Dallas. I sat next to him, making sure to not sit to close. I had witnessed how fast Dally could snap, and it could be my arm.

"Sorry." I muttered. He opened his eyes to look at me, and for the first time, he didn't have that hard, hated look in his ice blue eyes.

"I'm not mad." He bit his lip. He let out a shaky sigh and shook his head.

"Your right." He whispered. I stared at him blankly in confusion. "Your right about everything. I'm tearing us apart." I shook my head. I opened my mouth to protest, but he shushed me.

"I don't belong here. The only reason I was here was to protect Johnny. He's dead."

"Dally it's not your fault—"

"It's entirely my fault!" He interrupted. "If I would have stopped you guys from going into that church then he would be alive." Dally snarled.

"How could you have known he was going to die? Dallas it wasn't your fault. He wouldn't want you to blame yourself he wouldn't want you to—"

"How would you know what he wanted? He's gone; he can't even hear me anymore. It's too late." Dally was starting to sound hysterical.

"No, Dally he loved you he would want you to live—"

"HOW DO YOU KNOW HE LOVED ME?" Dallas yelled. I didn't know what to say. Dally stared at me, anger, angst, and pain, all in his eyes.

"What's with all this yelling?" Darry came out of his bedroom. He laid eyes on me.

"Get to bed Pony. It's getting late." I sighed, and rose to my feet. I trudged to my room slowly; I wanted to hear what Darry would say to Dally.

"You crashing here?" I heard Darry ask.

"Sure." Dallas sounded dejected, and I heard Darry's footsteps disappear into his room. The events of the past week flooded fresh in my mind, and the last thing I thought before I fell asleep was that I knew Dallas was wrong. Johnny was watching us somewhere, and he always would be.

_**Hey! Thanks for reading. I know this a slow start, but it's just setting everything into place before all the romance stuff happens. It won't always be in Ponyboy's point of view, it will change to Dally, Cherry, maybe Soda. Please review, reviews are what keeps me going **__**Tell me if you have suggestions, complaints, concerns, or even predictions. I'm new to Fanfiction so I might not be able to upload things very fast. Thanks for your support : D**_

_**~Lots of love,**_

_**Alaina**_


	2. Chapter 2

Ch 2:

"_If you don't stand for something, you will fall for everything." _

~Malcolm X

**Ponyboy's P.O.V**

The next day everyone bummed around our house. The gang was arguing whether or not Soda should participate in the rodeo. We had all split sides. Dally, Two-Bit, and Soda thought that Soda should ride, and Darry and Steve thought that he shouldn't. I was caught in between, but I mostly didn't want to get in the middle of it all.

Miniature fights broke out, but only little fist fights. Usually the two would just slug each other for a moment and then collapse laughing. No one fought with Dally or Darry though. I was watching Mickey Mouse with Two-Bit around noon when Soda suddenly jumped into the den, yelping and laughing. A sullen looking Darry followed. Soda was screaming about something but I couldn't understand him.

"What? Soda calm down!" Finally Soda caught his breath and explained.

"I'm riding! In the rodeo!" He punched Darry in the stomach and leapt around me.

"I can't see the TV!" Two-Bit complained at Soda shook his butt at us, standing directly in front of the television. Dally strolled into the room, smirking.

"Sodapop get your ass out of my face." Two-Bit tripped Soda, and Soda went sprawling. Chuckling, he leapt to his feet and high fived Dallas.

"You think that red head… um the broad…" Dally was never good at remembering names.

"Cherry." I supplied. Dallas snapped his fingers, nodding energetically.

"Do you guys think that Cherry will be barrel racing?" He asked. I could tell that he was trying to look casual as he sat down next to me.

"She goes to everyone anyway. Why wouldn't she?" Soda said, grinning in Darry's direction. Darry pouted.

"I don't know. So you are saddle bronc riding?" Dally asked. Soda nodded, still smiling like there was no tomorrow. It warmed my heart to see how Soda was so happy to finally be around horses again. I could tell it had been driving him crazy not to be.

"I'm bull riding. I'm going to own those Socs." Dally grinned triumphantly.

"Aren't you jockeying?" Two-Bit asked. He still had his eyes glued to the television. I don't know why a guy like Two-Bit would like cartoons so much, it beat me.

"Buck didn't say anything about it; I don't think the rest of the Slash J is going anyway." Dallas and Soda got lost in rodeo talk, and it didn't make sense to me so I stopped trying to listen. Darry was still in a funk, I could hear him throwing things around the kitchen. I hoped he was making cake. Just then the doorbell rang.

"I got it!" I leapt to my feet and flung open the door, expecting a solicitor or one of the Shepherd boys. I didn't expect who it was though. I blinked in surprise.

"Oh, hey Cherry." I said. She looked good, like usual. Her red hair was partially pulled back into a ponytail, but some curly strands hung in her face. She was wearing a green tank top, denim shorts, and sandals.

"Hey Ponyboy. Sorry to drop in like this…" She smiled softly, her emerald eyes twinkling.

"No problem. What's up?" I leaned against the door frame; I wish I had time to put on decent clothes. I was only wearing old sweats with no shirt. Cherry didn't seem to mind.

"I just was bored; my parents went out of town. I wanted to visit Dallas. I heard he just got out of jail." My heart sunk. She was here to see Dallas? I was a little shocked, as well as hurt.

"Uh yeah. Come in." I stepped aside. I felt awkward, letting a Soc walk into my small rundown house. But Cherry was indifferent. She looked around with interest, but nothing more. I led her to the living room, where Darry had changed the channel to football. The guys all whooped as someone scored a touchdown, and Cherry flinched. Soda looked up at me and Cherry.

"Hey!" He shot her a dazzling smile. She smiled back. Dallas craned his head around to see who was there.

"Why hello redhead." He smirked at her. I could feel Cherry stiffen next to me. She must have forgotten how rude Dally could be. She ignored him and turned to me.

"What game are yall watching?"

**Dally's P.O.V**

Okay, watching Cherry flirt with Pony like that was killing me. I hadn't really felt anything for anyone ever since Sylvia and the kid… but I was definitely feeling something now. Jealously? I have never been jealous of anyone. I guess I had been surprising myself lately though. She was REALLY sweet talking Pony though, even more then Sylvia had done to other guys behind my back. Right now she was running her fingers through his hair, and part of me wanted to beat the shit out of Pony. The other part of me longed for her to be doing that to me. I was really growing soft.

It took all of my strength to pretend like I was alright. Especially when I wasn't. I could tell everyone was being careful around me, they knew that I could blow any second. Who knows what they were saying about me behind my back. They knew that I wasn't afraid to press a knife to my own throat. I nearly got away with it to, if Ponyboy hadn't tackled me like that. We both were feeling the same thing I was just ready to go to more violent measures about it.

Dallas Winston, the tough one. That's what I used to be known as. The hood who got arrested at ten. The hood that didn't care about anyone but himself. I wonder what they would think if they could hear me now. For once, I hoped it was something good. Something like they would think about Ponyboy. Just a misunderstood kid. But no one would ever look at me that way.

Pony kept glancing at me real nervously. He should be. Even if I was going soft, he still knew that I could beat the snot out of him. He did have things that he could hold against me thought, like my idiotic little episode at the jail. And last night. Great. Now I couldn't even focus on the fucking game, I was too caught up in all this shit. I barely even noticed when the broad tapped me on the shoulder. I rolled me eyes up toward her.

"Can we talk?" About what? I didn't even try to crack an insult at her; I just followed her out onto the Curtis's back deck. I remembered the last time I had talked to her, about her being our spy. I thought we had put our first meeting behind us then, but by the way she pursed her lips at me now, I knew we hadn't.

"Yeah?" I asked. I lit a cigarette, letting it calm me. I offered one to her, but she shook her head in disgust.

"I just wanted to make peace." I frowned at her quizzically. Now she wasn't even making sense.

"Let's just put all this crap behind us. The first time we met, the past week, everything." She looked at me, pleading with her big green eyes. I shrugged, making a smoke ring. I noticed how she used the word 'crap'. I would have used something way mouthier, but that was Cherry. I admired her for that.

"So you're saying that you want to… be friends?" I cocked one eyebrow, trying to look cool. But really I was a nervous wreck. My head and heart were pounding. Would this look bad from the kid's point of view? Making peace with the kids who had caused his death? I still couldn't even bring myself to say his name, that's how pathetic I am. Cherry nodded, biting her lip.

"I would understand why you would hate me. Really. But I don't want to go through that." Hmm, not bad, not bad. I would have sufficed with just that, but she went on.

"I know that you were close to that kid. And I'm sorry. I really am. I was close to Bob. But the thing is, the Socs and the Greasers are even."

"Even? We'll never be even." I snapped. She shouldn't mention him like he was just someone unimportant. Like he was just a piece in their games. No one should ever talk about Johnny like that.

I felt myself go white the second I thought his name. My breath caught in my throat and I couldn't breathe. Cherry looked at me like I was crazy, but I couldn't care less. My breath came back in gasps, I felt myself quivering all over.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean it—"Cherry started, tears clouding her eyes. I shook my head. I was panting, trying to gain control. Even though I was upset, I didn't want to hurt the Soc. I knew I would regret it if I did, and that's one thing I didn't need. Another regret. I blinked really hard to keep back the rush of tears that always seemed to follow me now. I couldn't run away from them. I couldn't run away from the fact that he was gone.

"I'm fine. I can't talk about that." I closed my eyes and shook my head vigorously. I felt something touching my arm, and my knee-jerk reaction was to slap it away. But I opened my eyes first. Cherry had her hand resting on my forearm, her expression was concerned. I realized how close she was to me; I could smell her sweet breath on my face. My cigarette dropped out of my mouth in shock, and she yelped and jumped back. The cigarette had nearly hit her sandaled feet.

"Sorry." I mumbled. Another apology. I really was changing.

"It's fine." Cherry was breathing fast, looking at me as if I was bathed in new light. I stomped out the cigarette and tossed it in the trash. She stared at me for a moment before dropping her gaze politely. Not that I had minded.

"I better go. Thanks."She said quietly. I nodded absentmindedly. She stepped toward me and gently wrapped me in a hug. My heart sped up again. I put my hands on her waist hesitantly. She buried her head in my shoulder and we stayed like this for a brief moment. Then she pulled away. I would have said goodbye, but I could only watch her walk back into the house in appall. I followed her in like a zombie; I was stiff legged and stunned. Cherry was saying goodbye to Ponyboy and Soda. I sat down on the couch.

"What did the princess want?" Two-Bit asked. I stared at the TV, but I wasn't really seeing anything.

"Don't call her that." I muttered. Two-Bit chuckled and said something about me going soft, but I didn't have the strength to defend myself. After Cherry left, I couldn't stand it. I needed to be by myself.

"I'll catch yall later." I grumbled, heading out the back door quickly. I didn't know what to say if they asked about what Cherry and I had talked about, so I just avoided the scenario in the first place. That's what I did now, I avoided things instead of running to them full force like I used to. Not even that helped though, I still couldn't stand that someone like me was still living while Johnny wasn't.

**Ponyboy's P.O.V.**

The rest of the day turned out alright. Cherry sat and watched TV with us. I and she talked a lot, mostly just about school and stuff that didn't matter. She would smile at me and laugh a lot. I felt pleased by the attention, but I couldn't just ignore the death glares that Dally was giving me. I tried to shoot him some apologetic ones, but he would always stare stonily at the TV before I could. Did Dally like Cherry? That seemed strange to me, before this entire mess I had always thought that Dallas didn't care about anyone. I realized that he loved Johnny, but I was pretty sure that he had never actually fallen in love with a girl before. Not that I knew of.

The guys just watched TV all day. It was weird to think that after something so big had happened that everyone could just go back to their daily routines. It seemed like a normal Friday almost, except for the fact that Cherry was here and Johnny wasn't. At one point Cherry got up from her place next to me and asked Dally if they could talk. Then they went outside. They were out there for a long time. I found myself glancing at the door more than often. I guess I was worried about Cherry. Dally had been in a different mood lately. Most of the time he would act normal, but there was still that dull look in his eyes. He could blow any second, at just the mention of something small and unimportant. He was getting to be really sensitive.

Finally Cherry came through the door, looking as she usually did. She gave me a smile and told me that she had to go. As we were saying our goodbyes, Dally came back in. He looked blank, worried. He didn't look at any of us, just sat down on the couch like nothing had happened. I could tell something did though. Something big. At least for him.

He left the house at one point, and all the gang was anxious about that. I guess we were still afraid of losing him. He was still unpredictable, and we most certainly did not want a replay of how close he had came to getting shot that one night. Even Soda lost his excited grin, and glanced at the door even more than the rest of us. When Darry got home from the gym he offered to take everyone to a drive in place to get food, which was an offer I couldn't resist.

We all hopped in Two-Bit's car, Darry at the wheel. The boys were all joking around, but it didn't feel right without Dally or Johnny. I wish we would see Dally walking on the side of road; I seemed to be the only one who was still tense about him going out on his own. He was still so unstable…

"Ponyboy!" Soda snapped in my face. I came out of my trance.

"Huh?"

"What are you eating?" I just realized I didn't really have an appetite. I told him I wanted a Pepsi. I leaned my head against the door window. I couldn't get my mind off of Johnny Cade. I wish he would somehow tell Dally to not give up. Lord knows I can't.

"Pony you alright?" I was surprised to see that Steve was looking at me in a concerned way. Steve didn't like me or care about me, so I supposed Soda put him up to it.

"Aren't you guys worried about Dally?" I stared at all of them. Two-Bit had half of his sandwich hanging out of his mouth, Steve had both eyebrows raised, Soda had accidently lifted his straw out of his soft drink, and Darry had his head turned around like an owl to look at me.

"Of course we are." Soda said slowly. "We just figured he could take care of himself." I rolled my eyes.

"I ain't stupid, I know he can take care of himself. He's just been unpredictable lately. What if he does something crazy?" Everyone was quiet, and then Two-Bit said something totally off topic. I sighed and turned my head back toward the window. There was no use trying to get them to listen. If only Johnny was here, he used to always listen.

_**The next chapters the rodeo, so get ready **____** Hope you guys liked it, I think this chapter was a lot better than the first. Please review! Tell me if I got any facts wrong, you have complaints, concerns, and predictions. Anything! Thanks to those who had read and reviewed. **_

_**~Lots of love,**_

_**Alaina**_


	3. Chapter 3

Ch 3:

"_I'm a cowboy. On a steel horse I ride. I'm wanted dead or alive. Wanted dead or alive."_

~Bon Jovi (Dead or Alive)

**Dally's P.O.V**

Man I loved rodeos. It was exactly what I needed to get my mind off of everything. The second I got out of a borrowed car, the smell of manure and dirt enhanced me. Grinning to myself, I went to find the Curtis's. I was early for the first time in my life, and I knew they would be here this early too because Soda was so excited. I wandered through the stands preparing for the full fledge of people that were coming. I could smell funnel cakes, popcorn, and pizza. I would have to fill up on junk later though; right now I was on a mission.

I walked into the arena, hoping to find someone at least. All I saw were some important looking people talking amongst themselves. Then I saw the back of Ponyboy's bleached head.

"Curtis!" I yelled. Pony turned around and grinned when he saw me. I froze when I saw who he was talking to.

Cherry looked stunning, wearing crisp jeans and a belt with a silver buckle, a tight black button up shirt, and shining black boots. She looked sharp, not like I would admit it to her ever.

"Hey you." Cherry smiled as she walked over to where I stood, frozen in time. Just looking at her made memories flood back to my head way to fast, and for the first time since I was determined to get shot, I remembered Johnny.

I remembered the night I met Cherry Valance. How I was talking all dirty and trying to get her attention. I remember Johnny, even though it sent unbelievable pain through me, perfectly. I remember his big innocent black eyes, his long greasy black hair, and his slight build. I remembered how he had stood up to me, trying to get me to leave Cherry alone.

Another memory. This time it was when Pony, he and I were eating at a Dairy Queen. How Johnny had told me he was going to turn himself in. The cold, dark feeling of me imagining Johnny in jail. How I had yelled at him because I was so upset at the thought. How I had pleaded for him to understand. I wished I could tell him everything. I wished I could tell the kid that he meant more to me than any family member ever would. I wished I would just have turned around that damn car and saved him…

I snapped out of the memories, but both Cherry and Pony were already looking at me funny.

"I-I got to go." I stuttered. I hadn't stumbled over my words since I was a kid. I sprinted away from them, wishing I could run away from everything, but knowing inwardly that I never could.

**Ponyboy's P.O.V.**

"Is he okay?" Cherry looked after Dally in distress. Truth was, I didn't know. Dallas had just froze when he saw Cherry, then stood there staring at us with a look of blank horror on his face. Then he had run away. Cherry was still looking at me for an answer.

"I'm sure he's fine." I lied to comfort her. She looked me straight in the eye.

"What's wrong with him? He's not himself…" I pondered over my answer.

"He's been really beating himself up about Johnny." My throat clenched when I said his name. It was still hard to talk about him so casually. A look of understanding passed through Cherry's face.

"Oh." She breathed. I felt awkward, so I turned away from her. Luckily Soda and Darry saved me, as they loped over. Soda was bouncing on the balls of his feet, intentionally freaking out. He was acting drunk, even though I knew he wasn't.

"You seen Dally?" Darry asked, looking around. I nodded contently.

"He… left." Darry bit his lip.

What must have been minutes past. It all seemed like a blur until Cherry left my side to get ready for her barrel racing. Soda was grabbing my arms and showing me some horses, but I was mostly just looking for Dally. I hated how Soda didn't even seem to care about what Dallas was going through. I watched the barrel racing. Cherry did amazing; she got the best score, easily beating the others. She looked amazing up on her pure white horse, her red hair flying out behind her as she whipped around the barrels.

She beamed as she took her trophy and prize money, but the second she came back to me she didn't look so happy.

"Dallas isn't back yet?" I shook my head, not meeting her eye. Soda was up next after the team roping. I could tell he was itching to get back on a horse. He stroked a random horse's nose, real love in his eyes. When it was his turn he hopped on, and out in the arena he went.

He did amazing. The horse whipped him around, bucking like mad. Soda didn't care. He whooped and yelled, his hand never touching the horse once. He stayed on way past the buzzer, grinning. They practically had to pull him off. He never lost that longing in his eyes, even when he was up on the horse. The other contestants went, but I was too worried to look at their scores.

It wasn't until they announced Soda as the winner when I finally looked at him. He received five hundred dollars in cash, and I couldn't help but feel happy. Five hundred bucks was a lot of money. They gave him his trophy and he grinned, and came bouncing back to us. He smile faltered almost instantly.

"Where's Dallas? Bull ridings next." I bit my lip, shaking my head in wonder. The sponsors rode around the ring then they announced the first bull rider. Dally was next. The person finished quickly (he fell of his bull in the first few seconds), and then they were calling Dally's name.

"Dallas Winston?" No one answered. I felt like I was being suffocated. Dally had never missed out on a chance to ride. The judges said that they would skip him and let the other contestants go first.

"Damn they can't just skip me!" A voice gripped from behind me. I spun around.

"Dally!" And sure enough there he was. He looked perfectly fine to me. Yet again, he was good at hiding things.

"Sorry about that earlier, I remembered that I had to talk to someone." I could tell he was lying by the way his eyes shifted around.

"We'll talk later." I said quietly. He gave me a confused look and then walked over to bull he would be riding. I know he couldn't keep up this façade for long.

**Cherry's P.O.V**

I felt relieved when I saw Dallas finally emerge from the crowd. He looked like he always did, hard, bitter, uncaring. But there was something in his eyes that had changed. He and Ponyboy exchanged a few words before Dally walked up to the toughest looking bull there.

The second he got on the bull it was obvious who was going to win. The pitch black bull was huge, and it didn't help that it had enormous horns. But Dallas was tougher, somehow. That bull flung him around, but Dally stayed on. He looked… great up there on that bull. His white-blonde hair flopped into his eyes, a smile of triumphant on his face. After the buzzer he slid off and walked over to where I stood. His bright blue eyes were soft; despite his performance he looked utterly causal.

"How's that bull riding for you?" His infamous smirk spread to his face, and I crossed my arms over my chest. I couldn't help but smile back.

"Not bad Winston." I tried to look bored, but I don't think he was buying it. I was still smiling without my teeth, which gave it all away.

"Since when do you call me Winston?" He brushed his hair out of his face. Something occurred to me… something strange. His eyes were red. Before I could respond to my observation, he looked away from me. I realized he was waiting for me to answer him.

"Since now." I looked around, wondering where the Curtis's ran off to. Sodapop probably dragged them somewhere, he was really hyper.

"Are you hungry?" He asked me. I did a double take.

"What?" He was acting strange, kicking the dirt at his feet and shifting his eyes around. He raised his eyes to meet mine, raising his eyebrows.

"You heard me." My heart started racing, and I wished it would shut its trap. I couldn't fall for Dallas Winston. I couldn't.

"Yeah I'm a little hungry." I was sweating bullets.

"Want to go get a hotdog from one of the stands or something?" He jerked his head backwards, stuffing his hands in his pockets. I nodded stiffly, and he smiled lightly.

I followed him outside. It was dark out; the stars were twinkling through the clear night air. We stood in a crowded line for the hotdog stand. People were staring at us, whispering in their friends ears. I didn't really care about what they were saying about me, I was just worried about what they were saying about Dally.

"How have you been?" I asked awkwardly, to break to heavy silence between us. He shrugged.

"Okay I guess. What about you?" I mimicked his actions, and he grinned at me.

"Okay I guess." I giggled. He had a nice smile. His teeth were white and perfectly straight, and his whole face lit up when he smiled like that. I wish he would grin like that more often. We got two hotdogs, and sat on the edge of a curb to eat them. I was starved, so I dug in. Dally nibbled on the end of his.

"You never seemed like a nibbler." I blurted. He turned his head toward me, his eyes boring into mine. Then he cracked a smile.

"What? That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard someone say." I pouted, sticking out my bottom lip. Dally simpered at me, and I looked down at my feet.

"I was just kidding. Don't be mad at me." He slung his arm over my shoulders, and the normal me would have pulled away. But instead I rested my head on his chest and sighed contently.

"You sure have changed a lot Cherry." My heart fluttered when he called me Cherry. He had always called me 'princess', or 'red head.' But never Cherry.

"How so?" What was that supposed to mean? I've changed? My head was buzzing with possibilities.

"Yeah, you've changed a lot." He was quiet for a moment before continuing. "You used to hate me more than anything. You used to be feisty and harsh. But now…" He trailed off. At first I was too surprised to say anything. I knew I was changing, because of Bob's death obviously. I never had thought that someone else would notice though. I finally thought of a comeback.

"You've changed too." I said, crossing my arms over my chest and pulled away from him. He grinned bitterly.

"I know." I had thought he would fight it. I admired him for accepting the fact, while I still couldn't get used to the idea. It was terrible how we could only change because someone important in our lives is gone, there had to be some other way.

"Why did we have to go through all this? I'm beginning to wonder if anyone else has any problems at all." Dally had a hard look on his face after I said this.

"Welcome to my life, honey." I didn't doubt it either. I knew Greasers thought that us Socs got all the breaks, just because we're rich. Things are rough for us too. Mostly just parent problems, not big problems that they had to deal with. But they still count.

"Surprised?" I laughed shakily.

"Actually, not one bit." He looked thoughtful for a moment before continuing. "I don't understand. The rest of the gang seems perfectly normal, when everything's not." I wanted to add on, but he changed the subject before I could. He was still touchy about what had happened, and I didn't want to push him.

"The guys are probably wondering where I am." I agreed, and we threw out our hot dog wrappers. Then we walked back together to the ring.

"Dal where did you go? We got your trophy." Sodapop said when Dally and I walked up to him.

"I won?" He asked, dumbfounded.

"Well der." Soda replied, grinning at him. He took the trophy and I stared at Soda. He was a doll; I hadn't been lying when I was talking to Pony about him. He had golden hair and warm brown eyes, and a great personality to top it off. He caught me ogling at him and the corners of his lips turned up. I felt my face get hot.

"Where's Pony and Darry?" Dally had seen my little exchange with Soda, and looked sullen.

"They ran off. I think Pony wanted to look at the stock." Dally nodded and traced the words engraved in the trophy.

"I'm going to head home. Me and Two-Bit wanted to drive out to Texas to see his cousin all day tomorrow, so I need rest." He and Soda exchanged a few words of goodbye, and then Soda strutted off to go find his brothers. Dally turned to me.

"I'll see ya later, Valance." I bit my lip. Now we were back to the name calling. It was like nothing had changed at all. Then he did something I never expected him to do. He leaned in and pecked me on the cheek. My cheek tingled where his lips had touched it, and I couldn't hear anything my heart was pounding so loud.

He looked at me with a gentle expression on his face. His lips were curved up into a soft smile, his eyes were shinning, and his hair was flopping into them. I stared back at him like I was in some sort of trance. Then, as quickly as it had come, his expression faded into his usual bitter look.

"Bye." He whispered before dashing off. I knew that he and I would never be able to love each other that way. But I was still trying, for some unfathomable reason; I kept going back to him. I knew that I had probably just had my first and last personal moment with Dallas Winston.

_**Hey guys! Thanks to those of you who have reviewed, added this story to your favorites, or even read my story! I don't know how to reply to reviews, so sorry if I don't reply to them. If someone could PM how to, that would be great! Any ideas, comments, concerns, or predictions? If you review I usually will check out your stories and review back. Thanks!**_

_**~Lots of love,**_

_**Alaina**_


	4. Chapter 4

Ch 4:

"_I can be your hero baby. I can kiss away the pain_. _I will stand by you forever. You can take my breath away."_

~Enrique Iglesias

**Dally's P.O.V**

I was glad to get out of Tulsa for a while honestly. I was under a lot of pressure, and Two-Bit was a good buddy to be with. He let me have a laugh without feeling guilty for once.

At eight in the morning, Two-Bit and I got into his car and headed to Texas. He was bleary eyed, even though it wasn't that early. He probably got wasted last night, like he does every night. I used to be like that, getting so drunk that everything looks like the inside of a kaleidoscope and I couldn't remember my own name in the morning. But now I try to refrain from doing just that, because I usually end up in jail after I get hold of some booze. I don't really want anything else on my already mile long record.

"You seem tired." Two-Bit said as we got onto the main highway that would lead us to Texas. The town that his cousin lived in was in the very north of Texas, so we only had to drive for about two hours. Good thing to, even though I liked Two-Bit he could get annoying ninety percent of the time.

"I'm fine." I said stonily. Truth was, I was far from fine. Last night I had been way to flirty with Cherry, and the problem was that I was starting to really like her. I didn't want to fall for her. And I knew that she didn't want to fall for me. And now I was being the idiot trying to act cool around her. How I was talking to her, bought her a hot dog, how I put my arm around her, how I kissed her cheek: all of it was very obvious behavior. I couldn't do this to her (or myself) since it would only make us closer. And if my plan came through, then it would only hurt her.

Two-Bit was looking at me with a worried expression on his face. I bet I looked terrible, with the little sleep I had gotten. Also I hadn't been eating much. I think I'm getting depression. I can tell that the rest of the gang has noticed too.

"Put your eyes back on the road, Matthews." I rolled my eyes at him, but he only crinkled his eyebrows together in concern. I raised mine back at him until he looked away. I really wished the gang would get off of my back about everything. Who cares if I'm going to kill myself? They would be better off without me.

I sighed at my negative thought. The rest of the ride was silent, since Two-Bit had the radio up real loud to keep him from falling asleep. Even if I had wanted to, it would be hard to make conversation over that racket.

We stopped in a small town on the outskirts of Texas for lunch. We went through a burger drive through, and parked while we ate. Two-Bit turned off the radio and instead drank a large Coke for caffeine. I messed with my hamburger, ripping it in half, then in half again, and so on. After Two-Bit finished his, he looked at me.

"You need to eat Dally." I shook my head, smiling fakely.

"Nah I'm fine." I really wasn't hungry. Every time I thought of eating my insides squirmed and I felt like shit. So I stopped eating, and thinking about it.

"You're going to get sick if you don't eat." He persuaded.

"Lay off." I snapped, crossing my arms over my chest moodily. He cracked a smirk, and starting acting more like the Two-Bit I know.

"Someone's on their period." He chuckled. I had to grin. He was such a dope sometimes.

"You know I could beat the snot out of you, hell you've learned. And yet again, you still go around wisecracking like that." I shook my head in dismay. He smiled cockily.

Two-Bit ended up eating the rest of my hamburger, since I insisted that I wasn't hungry. I drank my Coke, sipping it in slow measured sips. Then I tossed it in the trash and we drove into the town and into Two-Bit's cousin's rundown neighborhood.

She was a hood like us, of course. So she didn't live anywhere fancy. It seemed like an almost exact replica of Two-Bit owns house actually. Small world.

**Ponyboy's P.O.V**

I was sitting close to the phone incase Two-Bit called. Okay, maybe I was acting a little paranoid, but Dallas was unpredictable. And Two-Bit was pretty scatterbrained, if he saw Dallas walking out the door with a knife in his hand then it probably wouldn't register that he was going to commit suicide. So I was pretty worried.

Also I was home alone. Soda and Steve were at work, and so was Darry. Usually Two-Bit would have stayed with me, but he and Dal were in Texas. This left me.

I sat in Darry's armchair and tried to focus on my homework. I had to answer all these comprehension questions. They were pretty easy, but I kept finding myself thinking off topic. Like at one point, Cherry Valance crept into my head and I started thinking about her.

The night of the rodeo she and Dallas ran off and I went searching for them. When I found them, I saw Dally's arm around her and Cherry leaning her head against his chest. I could easily recall the choking feeling in my throat, and I had to turn away quickly. I sprinted back to the group, but the image was still fresh in my head. It hurt, surprisingly a lot. I felt sort of… jealous.

_That's stupid._ I thought. I mean, Dallas wouldn't want a girlfriend right now; he's still all upset because of Johnny. Not that I wasn't, but Dally was definitely beating himself up over it a lot more than the rest of us.

I inwardly cursed myself for getting so off topic, and went back to work on my homework. I got a good portion done before I went into a trance. Before I knew it, I fell asleep.

I dreamed that Johnny, Mom, and Dad were still alive. We were living in the country with the entire gang, and everything was perfect. Darry loosened up, and Dally got out of his depression. Soda had Sandy back, and Cherry was mine…

I awoke from my nap to the sound of the phone ringing. I picked it up instantly, worry filling through me. How long had I been asleep?

"Hello?"

"Is this Ponyboy?" Came a husky voice from the other end. I didn't recognize it.

"Yeah, who is this?" I balanced the phone between my shoulder and ear, and put my textbook and unfinished homework on the side table. I would have to finish it later.

"Your secret admirer." Scoffed the voice from the other end. "It's Two-Bit you idiot." I could hear him chuckling.

"Oh hey Matthews. What's up?" My heart pounded. Was Dally okay?

"Nothing, me and Dal were wondering if you wanted to meet us at the Nightly Double. Are you still by your lonesome?" I grinned in relief.

"Yeah, I'm still by myself. That'd be nice if I could meet ya'll. Is anyone else coming?"

"Nope. We will probably see other people there though, you know how that works." I agreed, everyone goes to the Nightly Double. I pondered over this. We were having a break from school, so Darry would be fine with it as long as I left a note. I was surprised Dally was going; normally he avoided anything that reminded him of Johnny.

"Sure, I'll come. Can ya'll pick me up?" I heard a car horn outside.

"Already here."

**Dally's P.O.V.**

The Nightly Double was more crowded then I had ever seen it on the weekdays. Yet again, the kids were all off of school. We actually stayed in the car for the first time, normally we just sat on the benches right outside the theatre, but today I guess Two-Bit felt like abiding the rules for once. Which was strange.

Once we arrived Two-Bit went to go get some drinks and popcorn. That left me and Ponyboy alone in the car. He looked stressed. I jumped up to Two-Bits seat so I could talk to him.

"What's up kiddo?" I asked casually. Ponyboy shrugged.

"Tell me." I prodded. He sighed and glared at me. He was good looking, like Soda. He had the same type of long silky hair, except his was a reddish color. He had grey-green eyes, though he had always complained that he wished they were grey.

"Fine. It's a girl okay?" Oh god. I knew that Pony had a crush on Cherry. But…

"Who?" It can't be her. I tried to convince myself, but it was hard since I knew that was the truth.

"No one. Never mind." He crossed his arms over his chest stubbornly and turned away from me. Did I really want to know? I knew I could get it out of him if I tried….

"Come on, tell me." I nudged his shoulder. Pony shook his head, gritting his teeth together. Okay, that's it. Time to go hardcore.

"Do you really want me to ask about it in front of Two-Bit?" I could tell his face had colored, even in the dim light.

"You wouldn't." He called me a few choice words, and I chuckled. He was too easy.

"Or, I could happen to mention that language you're using in front of Darry…" I raised my eyebrows, trying to look casual as I stared at the screen. Ponyboy sighed in defeat.

"It's Cherry okay?" My heart sunk. I so didn't need this right now. Pony and I both having a crush (and yes it is a crush, but just a little one. Maybe.) On the same girl was NOT going to work out. I opened my mouth, and then closed it because I had no idea what to say. I knew I was lying to myself.

"I know, I know that you like her too. I'm practically already over it." I shrugged.

"I don't even know if I like her. So don't worry about it." I stared blankly at the screen, not seeing anything. There was a long awkward silence that was broke by Two-Bit getting back into the car. He shoved me out of the driver's seat and handed me popcorn and a soda. Normally I would have made Ponyboy sit in the back, but I just didn't feel like arguing with anyone. We watched a portion of the movie in silence, before we were interrupted by Two-Bit.

"Look there's Cherry!" I and Pony avoided each other's eyes, both trying not to look in her direction. But I had to peek. She was leaning in a car window, talking to an average looking blonde girl. Obviously a Soc telling by the Mustang she was in. I turned my eyes back to the screen, even though I longed to talk to Cherry.

I sipped my drink, but I still felt sick about eating anything. I felt sick period. The movie had officially bored me, so I just listened to the sounds of drunken laughter. It wasn't until I heard a tapping on the window that I looked up. Cherry was staring into Ponyboy's window, her hands on her hips. I sat up in surprise; I didn't expect her to notice us.

Pony unrolled the window. I had to give it to the kid, he looked tuff. His eyebrows were raised casually, his reddish hair falling over one eye. The Curtis's never used Grease. Neither did I, but you get my point.

"Hey Soc." I was sort of surprised of how coldly Ponyboy regarded her. She gave him a half smile and turned her green eyes on me.

"Dallas. Can we talk?" I felt really bad for Pony at that moment. I felt bad for myself too, because I wanted her, a lot. But I can't be with her. I just can't.

"Yeah." _Stupid stupid stupid! _Why did I say yes? I scolded myself internally. As I got out of the car, I could feel Pony shooting me death rays. I tried to give him a look that meant, _I'm sorry! _But he looked away.

Cherry led me behind all of the cars, until we reached a moonlight filled empty parking lot. It seemed so….romantic. God, I'm such a softie.

I looked at her and I felt my heart stop. She looked really pretty, no: beautiful. Her red hair was glowing in the dim light of the full moon, her face flawless with her sharp features standing out to me more than ever before. Her dark green eyes bore into me with a different intensity that I hadn't seen her use before. Then I realized something that I regretted and hated. I was in love with her.

It had been there before, sure. I just hadn't realized it. Until now. I was paralyzed with the suddenness that it had hit me with. How could one moment change me completely? She stepped toward me, that intense look in her eyes still present. I couldn't breathe. No girl had ever taken my breath away before. She took another step, and we were nose to nose. I could feel her sweet breath across my face. She leaned in. And I pulled away.

"We can't do this." Now that I had my breathing back, it came in rugged gasps. I stepped away from her shaking my head. The expression in her face was so heartbroken, that I felt it too.

"What do you mean?" Her voice was trembling. I hated myself for doing this. I had to though.

"I can't be with you." Her eyes started to water. No, I didn't mean it like that. Oh god, I was screwing everything up.

"No, I don't mean it that way. I want you. I-I mean I want us." Great, now I sounded like a stuttering idiot. She smiled softly and looked at her feet. But her eyelashes had tear drops on them. I sighed angrily and ran a hand through my hair in frustration. This was not going well.

"Why? What's wrong? Dally you haven't been the same ever since…" She trailed off. There was a knot in my throat now. I wished she would talk about something else. I wish she would at least something. But she stayed silent, waiting for an answer.

"It's not fair." I whispered. _No._ I told myself. Don't think about him now.

"Tell me Dallas. Please?" Her voice wasn't flirty, or even pleading. She just seemed concerned. I couldn't bring myself to look at her. She gently took my hands in hers. I could feel her eyes on me.

"He's gone." My voice cracked. She was silent. I hoped she wasn't waiting for me to say more, because if I tried I would probably start crying right in front of her. And that was something that I wouldn't let happen.

"What does that have to do with us?" I looked at her now-dry eyes. There was no way out of this.

"Cherry." I spoke her name quietly, fearing her reaction of my next words. Her lips parted slightly as she replied to me.

"Yes?"

"I'm going to commit suicide." My tone was even and sincere. Cherry stared at me in disbelief, her mouth open in surprise.

"No." She was shaking her head franticly. Her eyes were filling with tears again. I bit my lip and forced myself to look away. Not like she would be able to change my mind, it just hurt too much.

"No Dally you can't." She dropped my hands threw her arms around my neck. I rested my hands hesitantly on her back, but then pushed her away.

"I have to. I can't…." I steadied myself. "I can't live without him. He was like a brother." Now it was my turn for my breath to get quivery. I hadn't admitted that to anyone. I had to force the one image that wouldn't ever be able to get out of my thoughts.

Cherry seemed to forget her own woes and looked at me, with worry written plainly on her face. She caressed my face, her fingers lighter then feathers. This time I didn't pull away. She pulled me toward her, and I rested my hands on the small of her back. She leaned up toward me, and I leaned down.

She paused when our lips where about a centimeter apart. My breath was still quivering, but this time it wasn't because I was upset. I was happy.

I leaned down and pressed my lips to hers. I had kissed so many girls before, mostly drunken Greasers or two-timing Sylvia. But I had never cared for any of them. And the second her lips touched mine, I knew that none of those other girls would ever compare to her.

Her lips didn't bite against mine hungrily like Sylvia's used to. Her lips were soft and sent tingles through mine. Even once she had pulled away, I could still feel jolts going through my entire body.

She stared at me for a moment before kissing me again. I could feel a smile spreading to my lips, and decided that I could get used to this.

_**Hello! I know, this chapter was kind of out of character for Dally. But he is changing, so that's my point Sorry about not updating for a while, I was really busy and got a little writers block. PLEASE PLEASE review, even if you hate it. Let me know what you think! Thanks so much for reading, the next one should be up as soon as I can write it. **_

_**~Lots of love,**_

_**Alaina**_


	5. Chapter 5

Ch 5

"_There are always two choices. Two paths to take. One is easy. And its only reward is that it's easy.__"_

~Anonymous

**Dally's POV**

When she pulled away from me, reality fell back into its proper place. Cherry stared at me for a moment, but I had to evade her eyes.

"Don't do it." She spoke quietly. My stomach felt queasy, and I couldn't breathe. I can't choose between life and death, I have had death written on me since the day he left me. But I can't choose between him and Cherry either. There's just no picking.

Especially if I was in love with her for real. Then everything would change. I couldn't just leave her. But I can't abandon him. He's all alone… he needs me. Cherry has lots of friends. She has everything she needs and wants.

"Are you alright?" I shook my head, making the throbbing worse. I felt really sick.

"Dally?" She put one of her hands on my face gently, and I grabbed it and threw it back on to her side. What's wrong with me? Her eyes were worried and wide, waiting for me to speak. My head felt like it was going to split in two.

"Don't make me choose." I found myself saying. Everything turned blurry, and I wasn't sure if I was crying or if it was just because I was sick. I felt myself swaying, and then everything faded to black.

**Ponyboy's POV**

Dallas and Cherry had been gone for a while, and everyone looked nervous about that. Soda, Steve, and Steve's girlfriend Evie had joined us. I pestered Two-Bit about going out to find them, but he kept saying to 'let them be'. He just didn't understand.

I noticed that Soda looked upset. Probably because usually he and Sandy would go to the movies with Steve and Evie, like a double date. But now he was just the third wheel. I felt just as terrible and betrayed by Sandy as he did, since he was my brother and he was obviously beat up about it. What kind of person would get pregnant with another man when she already had Soda? All the other girls envied her. She had everything she would ever want. I guess that proves how people never know what they have until it's gone, but she probably didn't even care now.

Sodapop kept side glancing at Steve and Evie, noticing how they were holding hands and laughing at scenes in the movie. I could tell what he was thinking. He still hadn't moved on, I knew that, and he was remembering how that used to be him and Sandy. There was an empty feeling in my stomach, probably because Steve's relationship with Evie was what I wanted with Cherry. But she was off with Dally now, doing who knows what. I started getting worried again, and continued bugging Two-Bit.

After an hour or so passed, Two-Bit finally gave into my pleading. I was just worried about Dally, that's all. But I knew I was lying to myself.

"Where could they be?" Two-Bit muttered as we strode along the edges of the lot. We had looked everywhere. We had asked Soda if he had wanted to come, but he had turned us down. I would have wanted to go if I was being treated the way he was by Steve. He was ignoring Soda completely, only paying attention to Evie. What a jerk. We stopped and sat down on a vacant curb, Two-Bit lighting a cigarette. He offered my one, but I politely refused. I had been feeling too light headed recently, and I didn't want to mess up my health or anything like that.

Just as soon as we relaxed, I heard a cry. A cry of "Help!" I jumped to my feet and ran in the direction I heard it from, not caring if Two-Bit was following me or not. I knew that voice. It was Cherry.

I sprinted into a clearing behind us and saw Cherry leaning over a figure lying on the ground. My heart stopped as she looked up at me, tears leaking out of her emerald eyes. Laying behind her, obviously unconscious, was Dally. His face was chalk white, and he had a nasty bump on the side of his head.

"H-he was just talking to m-me. T-hen he just fainted." Cherry sniffled, her breath coming in shuddery gasps. Two-Bit, who was behind me, jumped in front of me, cursing. He kneeled by Dally's head, while Cherry stood up and walked over to me. She wrapped me into a hug, sobbing into my chest. I patted her back awkwardly, watching Two-Bit listening to Dally's heart. His face went white.

I gently shoved Cherry off of me, looking at Two-Bit worriedly. His eyes were round, and he looked terrified. I never thought I would see the day that Two-Bit got scared. But his next words scared me just as bad.

"Pony, go call an ambulance."

The flashing lights flashed across everyone's faces. We were all silent, except for Two-Bit who was yelling at the top of his lungs.

"WE HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO BE IN THERE WITH HIM!" The cop crossed his arms over his chest, his eyes narrowing at my hysterical friend.

"Only family." He said stubbornly.

"We ARE his family you—" Soda leapt forward and pulled Two-Bit back, since he had lunged toward the fuzz. Two-Bit kicked his legs and squirmed under his grip, but Steve leapt forward to help before he could break free. I watched the exchange for a minute, but all I could see were some occasional fists and hear some choicer cursing. I glanced at Cherry, who was talking to a nurse, tears still rolling down her cheeks. Soda had Two-Bit's wrists, just in case he tried anything, but Steve had stepped back to my side. Evie had left somewhere in all the commotion.

Just then the sirens started again, and the ambulance sped away. There was a long silence, in which I could only hear Two-Bit's frantic gasps. Then the cops got into their cars, the one who was arguing with Two-Bit giving us a dirty look before doing so.

Cherry walked to her Mustang without regarding us. I felt stabs of hot anger toward her, shouldn't she at least say goodbye? But I had bigger things to worry about, so I let it go. Two-Bit's heavy breathing had calmed into shuddery gasps. I looked over at him, feeling shocked to see that his eyes were tear-filled. I had never seen Two-Bit cry.

"What's wrong with him?" Steve whispered, a catch in his voice. He was staring at the spot where the ambulance had pulled away.

"He wasn't eating." Two-Bit was trembling. "I tried telling him to eat but he wouldn't listen…" He looked away, and I could see his Adam's apple moving as he fought sobs. I bit my lip and looked at Soda instead.

Soda looked back at me, his normally warm brown eyes cold. His jaw was clenched, and he glanced around for a minute. There were a lot of people gathered around, in a loose circle away from us. They were whispering quietly, all looking worried. They probably just pitied us. First Johnny, now this? How was that fair? We couldn't lose both of them. We just couldn't.

"Let's call Darry." Soda suggested lowly, his voice throaty with pain. I nodded stiffly. Two-Bit stalked off before I could stay goodbye, and Soda tugged me away from Steve. Oh yeah, he was probably still mad at him about earlier. Soda walked up to a phone booth, me in tow. He angrily punched in our number and handed me the phone.

"What? Why me?" I asked, but he shushed me. Darry picked up on the first ring.

"Hello?" His voice was normal and happy. I hated that I was about to ruin his night.

"It's me. Can you come pick Soda and I up?" I closed my eyes, not looking forward to his next question.

"Why? What happened?" Darry's voice went into panic mode.

"Dally…. Passed out. His heart wasn't beating right. He's real sick Dar." My throat got tight saying it out loud. Darry was silent for a minute before replying.

"I'll be there as soon as I can."

**Cherry's POV**

They wouldn't let me see him until the next morning. Ponyboy and I waited outside, sitting on rickety old chairs and looking at out of date magazines. We barely spoke, besides greeting each other and occasionally pointing out funny articles. We both jumped to our feet and listened attentively when the doctor re-entered the room after stating that we weren't allowed in until visiting hours began. He sighed stressfully when he saw our excited faces.

"You can see him now, but only one by one. I don't want him getting too worked up." I nodded and side glanced at Ponyboy, who looked at me at the exact same second. Our eyes met.

"Do you want to go first?" Pony offered awkwardly, shoving his hands deep into his jean pockets. He jerked his head toward the door. I shrugged, and he went to go sit down. I didn't really mind, I knew I would get to see him at some point. I followed the doctor through Dally's room in the critical care section. He wasn't that bad, was he?

"You have thirty minutes." The doctor said firmly. I muttered back a reply, but it got caught in my throat when I saw Dally lying in the hospital bed. He had gauze wrapped around one side of his head, and he was a strange color of pale yellow. His eyes were dark and stormy, his hair disheveled. He had a sullen, sallow look to him. He glared at me when I walked through the door, and I managed a weak smile.

"What are you doing here?" He snapped harshly. I flinched at his reaction, pausing halfway to his bed. Did he have amnesia? What's going on?

"Are you okay?" My voice was barely above a whisper, but he seemed to have heard it. He glowered like he had just stepped in something nasty. I bit my lip anxiously.

"No I'm not okay. Why else would I be in the hospital?" I timidly stepped toward the edge of the bed, and took his hand. He was shaking, but he relaxed the second our fingertips touched. His broken eyes looked up into mine.

I looked at the IV's running up and down his arms. He had bruises all over his arms and face, and even a few cuts. I hadn't remembered him getting cut by anything, but that didn't matter. His eyes were what mattered. They held all the pain and torture in the world, and once they met mine I couldn't pull away.

"You have to eat." I said subconsciously. He looked at our hands, avoiding my statement. He had dark circles under both eyes.

"I can't." Dally whispered. He checked my expression to see if I understood. I didn't. "Whenever I think about eating I feel like I'm going to puke, so I don't. I wasn't getting enough protein or something, so my heart started beating funny. The doctors think…." He paused, looking at our intertwined hands again. My heart thumped, wanting but not wanting to know what he was going to say next.

"They think I'm getting depression. Which I know I have it, I'm not stupid." He snorted, looking apprehensive. Then he frowned. I stared blankly at him until he looked up at me.

"Cherry I…" He frowned again. I could tell it was hard for him to say whatever he was going to announce next. "We shouldn't hang out anymore. I mean, I like you and I think you like me, but it's not going to work. I'm not going to make it through this, and I was an idiot to think that even for a moment I would. It's too hard." His expression was pleading for me to understand. My chest tightened, and I shook my head. I blinked back the sudden rush of tears that burned beneath my eyelids.

"Don't. You can't." But he had determined set in his eyes, and I knew he wasn't going to let it go.

"I have to. And don't think that you will be able to talk me out of this. Because you won't." A hard sheen went over his eyes. I tried to swallow the lump in my throat, and failed.

"Please." I closed my eyes, allowing the tears to stream down my cheeks. He dropped my hand, a simple gesture that broke my heart. I couldn't bring myself to look at him.

"I'm sorry. I wanted to avoid this in the first place. I didn't want to put you through this. But I'm not turning back. I hate having to regret everything and I just want it to be over." He voice got slightly higher as he talked, and I could tell that he was hurting too. Even more than me.

I remember how during the first night after that kid passed away, Two-Bit had explained to me that Johnny was the only thing that Dallas had ever loved… and I knew that was true. I had seen Dally's face when he looked at Johnny, and I knew that he would never look at anyway to same way. Not even me.

I opened my eyes and to see his agony present in them. I never thought I would see the day where Dallas Winston would wear his emotions on his sleeves.

"I… I understand…" He exhaled in relief.

"You're the only one. The others don't understand at all. They don't understand how I feel at all. I can't leave him…" His voice broke, and he trailed off. I peeked up at him under my eyelashes, to see that he wasn't looking at me like I expected him to. He used the back of his hand to wipe his eyes, and I felt a shock run through me. Was he crying?

Dally looked me straight in the eye, and I saw that my suspicions were true. His eyes were rimmed with red, tears filling the middle. His breath was coming out raspy and sharp. His eyes were big as they stared at me wordlessly. I could only stare in complete and utter surprise. He always seemed so tough… and this moment was so raw and out of character for him that it made my stomach clench uncertainly. He laughed shakily.

"I'm sorry; I don't want you to see me this way. I'm just sick of hiding everything from you." He looked at the ceiling before rolling his eyes back toward me.

"You should go." He suggested quietly. His eyes were still sparkling with tears, and it made my heart race for some unknown reason to me. I stared at him for a minute before registering what he was trying to tell me. He wanted me to leave. He didn't want me anymore. Hurt filled through me, and I stared at him in angst. I stood up and strutted to the door angrily.

"Cherry…" He protested. Before he could say whatever he wanted to, I slammed the door. I didn't look back.

_**Hey guys, big things going on in this chapter! I've had a lot of writers block, so sorry for the delay. Review and tell me what you think is going to happen next, what you think of what's going on, and give me suggestions on how I can improve! I like comments that say 'good job', or 'I can't wait for more,' but I love the ones that give me advice and state what they like about it. So thanks to you who have done that! **_

_**~Love you lots,**_

_**Alaina**_


	6. Chapter 6

Ch 6:

"_I want these words to make things right. But it's the wrongs that make the words come to life… One night and one more time. Thanks for the memories even if they weren't so bright, he tastes like you only sweeter."_

~Fall Out Boy (Thanks for the Memories)

**Dally's POV**

Being in the hospital sucks. Especially because the doctors wouldn't let me do anything, so I had no ways to entertain myself. And since I was practically sitting on my ass all day doing nothing, the memories came back. Each one felt like the sharp end of a whip, slowly making me hurt worse and worse. Sometimes I felt like I was being intoxicated, since I had no way to fight back anymore.

During the day, the doctors would fuss over me. They took millions of tests to "understand my problems". In between, the nurses would help me walk around (even though I wasn't hurt physically, not at all) and would try to get me to eat. They had IV's in my arms and legs so I was getting enough nutrients, but they still needed me to eat. I refused anyway, no matter how much they begged me. Even though that seemed like the worse way to go, it was better than nothing. And so far all I had was nothing.

At night I was always awake with nightmares. Most of them were about him and Cherry. Other ones were about me going to hell instead of heaven, and being stuck down there for eternity. I always woke up in cold sweat, screaming or crying or both. Then a nurse would come in and I would cuss her out until she left. I hated it. I would have to cry myself to sleep, but whenever I woke I felt even lest rested then before.

During my third day of being in the hospital, I was sitting in my room bored as hell. I had the TV on, but I wasn't paying attention to it. All the doctors were looking at the results of a blood test, so I was alone. I stared at the grime under my finger nails, trying to distract myself from what I knew was coming. But it came anyway.

_One Year Ago_

I was sitting on the Curtis's lawn, waiting for one of them to come home. It was a late Wednesday night, probably ten or eleven o'clock. I wasn't paying attention to the time. Darry and Soda were at work, and Pony was at a track meet. I don't know where the others were, but I bet Two-Bit was wasted somewhere and Steve was with Evie. It felt weird to walk into the Curtis's home when no one was there… it just didn't feel right. Plus, I was a little bit drunk, and I had kind of fell on the grass. Then I just didn't feel like getting up.

There was a fruit fly buzzing around me, occasionally resting on my forearm. It tickled. I stared at its wings as they fluttered around its tiny body. I wonder how it could stand being so small. Just then I heard footsteps coming my way. I looked up to see Johnny walking toward me. He had that too-big jean jacket wrapped around his small frame, his eyes darting from side to side. He stepped into the street light, and I realized that he was all cut up and bloody. And he was crying. Damn.

"Johnny?" My loopy feeling disappeared, and immediately was replaced with anger. I stood up as he turned toward me, his eyes red. He stepped out of the light, dropping his gaze. I walked over to him and grabbed his shoulders, looking him over.

"Damn those bitches to hell…" Johnny didn't even try to defend them. He wouldn't even look at me. I grabbed his chin and tilted his face so he was staring straight into my eyes. He was still crying, tears dripping down his cheeks. Everyone always said that his eyes were pure black, but they were really just a dark, bitter shade of brown. They were the kind of eyes that you found yourself staring into and understanding everything, without him even saying anything. Right now they betrayed that he was scared, and awfully sad.

"What did they do?" I snapped, licking my lips since they had suddenly gone dry. He sighed, rolling his eyes like a little kid.

"It's no big deal." He protested.

"Hell yeah it is. What happened? Answer me." I growled fiercely, shaking him. He shook me off, and I let him only because he was my pet. He walked into the Curtis's house, and I followed. I grabbed a washcloth from the kitchen and cleaned it off. He leaned against the counter.

I walked over to him and began mopping up the blood from his face. There were ugly bruises around most of the cuts. Once I was done, I went to the living room, him following me. We both sat down on the couch, and I looked at him intensely.

"What. Happened." His breathing got heavy and sharp, and I knew he was about to spill. He started bawling again.

"I just came home and he was waiting at the door for me. He started hitting me with his belt, and then my mom came in. She started yelling at me about how she doesn't want me and what a useless kid I am. They were mad because I came home late. And then they started throwing glass…." He wouldn't look at me, but I could tell he was crying real hard.

"Aw Johnnycake, it's going to be ok. You know what, it doesn't matter. You got that?" He looked up at me, his big eyes shining with tears and distress. I threw an arm around him and scooting closer to him so we were sitting knee-to-knee.

"Look, you have me. And you have the gang. And that's all you need. Hell, I don't give a damn about my family. And they don't care about me. I'm perfectly fine with that." He took a deep breath before speaking.

"But your tough Dal, I'm not. And I… I want them to love me." I felt my face get hot; he was such an idiot sometimes.

"Johnny this isn't about being TOUGH. It's about accepting what you have and DEALING with it." I stood up, and he followed my lead.

"I can't deal with it. That's my problem. I can't accept it like you can." I ran my fingers through my hair and shook my head. But he continued.

"I wish I was like you Dallas…" I froze, and spun around so hard that he stumbled backwards. His eyes got wide with fear, and I forced myself to speak in a calm voice even though I was shaking with the possibilities of his words. He would never be like me. He would never have to live through what I had been through. Never.

"No, Johnny, you will never be like me. You shouldn't want to Johnny. Just stay the way you are, don't get tough. Please?" He stared up at me, his eyes glowing, nodding at my advice. I pulled him into a hug, slapping him on the back gently. Then, it all faded.

I blinked out of my trance, and tried to blink away the tears that were present in my eyes. Why did this have to hurt so fucking much?

"You okay?" Came a soft voice from the corner of my room. I looked over to see Soda sprawled in one of the chairs, his eyes narrowed at me. I wasn't even surprised to see him; the gang would show up every now and then to check on me. I shook my head at his question. I tried to get my breath back, but it still came out in gasps.

"What's wrong?" Soda straightened up from the chair and sat on the edge of my bed. I purposely looked anywhere but in his direction. But he was waiting for an answer, so I toughened up and gave him one.

"Since I'm pretty much doing nothing all day I have a lot of time to think. And I keep remembering things I just want to get out of my head." He let out a concerned sigh, and I crossed my arms over my chest stonily.

"I'm sorry."

"I am too." We were both quiet for a minute, me lost in my own thoughts. I glanced at him out of the corner of my eyes to find that he was staring at me, his brown eyes narrowed in confusion. I raised my eyebrows at him, waiting for an explanation.

"What are you thinking about?" He asked quietly. I closed my eyes, leaning back into the fluffy pillow. Could I even say his name out loud without breaking down? I haven't said it in months. I bit my lip, challenging myself. If I was going to get stronger, then this was the way to do it.

"Johnny…" My voice stumbled and broke, and I felt like the wind had been knocked out of me. There, I said it. Johnny Johnny Johnny. How could that one little word have changed my life so drastically? Just that one kid. Before I could see Soda's reaction, I was sucked into another unwanted memory. A memory of the day I first met Johnny.

_The Nightly Double, Three Years Ago_

Sylvia yawned and leaned her head against my shoulder. It was getting pretty late, since it was about midnight now. The Curtis's had already left, since Pony had a track meet in the morning or something. Now it was just Sylvia and me.

"Dally." She purred, looking up at me from under her long eyelashes. I leaned down and kissed her nose, smiling. Maybe I wasn't in love with her, but I was pretty damn close to it. We had only been dating for a few months, but that was enough for me to fall for her.

"I have to go. My mom's picking me up." I sighed and she straightened up so she was facing me. She put both of her hands around my face and kissed me. I kissed her back pulling her closer, still not breaking our lip lock even when she stood up.

"Bye Dal." She said in a sugary sweet voice, and I leaned up to give her another peck. She gave me a glittering smile before strutting off toward the parking lot. I looked back to the screen, sighing contently. Life was good.

I wasn't sure what to do now. So I figured I would watch the rest of the movie then crash at Two-Bit's. I leaned back on the bench, letting my back slump in a way that I knew wasn't good for me, but was comfortable so I stayed in that position anyway.

I stared at the screen blankly before realizing that during the entire movie I had been making out with Sylvia, so I had no idea what was going on. Whatever, I would just head to Two-Bit's house then. I stood up and slouched out through the gate, and continued through the empty parking lot. It was a nice night, the breeze nice and cool with the moon real bright. I heard some drunken laughter, and I slouched even more when I saw some Socs with beer bottles in their hands. Bastards. I couldn't care less, but then I realized what that they were laughing about.

A kid, must have been only fourteen, was in the middle of them. He looked absolutely terrified, not letting his huge dark eyes meet theirs, hunching his shoulders and looking generally small. They were shoving him around, not really enough to hurt him real bad, but mostly enough just to shake him up. It would have bothered me if they were seriously hurting him, but it bothered me enough that they were messing with a kid. Why can't they just pick on someone their own age and size? Why only Greasers? Plus, I had never seen the kid before. And he had a look to him that made you instantly feel terrible that he was being bullied, even though I didn't even know his name.

"Hey." I snapped, making the drunks look up at me with wolfish grins on their idiotic faces. The kid locked eyes with me. I gave him a stiff nod before turning my attention back to the Socs. I glared at them menacingly.

"Pick on someone your own size, assholes." One of them leapt toward me, but another held him back, shooting death glares at me. I grabbed the kids arm before they jumped me, and quickly walked away. He was shaking.

"What the hell do you think you were doing?" I asked angrily. What idiotic kid would come to the Nightly Double by themselves? He shrugged, his eyes getting wider by the second. I instantly regretted being so harsh.

"I'm new around here." His voice was barely above a whisper. I dropped his arm and stopped walking, turning to face the kid. I asked him for his name, frowning at him. He stared back at me for a minute; his eyes were a dark shade of brown that I had never seen before.

"Your Dallas Winston." It was easy to hear the admiration and awe in his voice, even though I had no idea why anyone would think I was that amazing. Sure, I got into trouble a lot and the other Greasers though I was tuff. Big deal. I looked at him, still waiting for an answer.

"I'm Johnny Cade."

When I came to, Sodapop was shaking my shoulders roughly.

"Dally? Dally are you alright?" He repeated over and over again. I was quivering with grief, and then suddenly a new emotion overcame me. I was suddenly filled with bitter and anger, the feeling boiling hot inside of me. My vision turned red, and I started shaking harder. I could hear Soda pleading with me to answer him, but his voice was only a faint echo. I stood up, ripping off the cords that were suffocating me. I was barely aware of the sobs racking through me hysterically. All I could think was that it was my entire fault. He wouldn't be dead if it wasn't for me. Soda was still blabbering, but he was just a blur through my hysteria. To make him shut up, I drew back my fist and punched him as hard as I could in the jaw. I heard the crunching of his bone breaking and the piercing yelp of his pain. He stumbled to his knees from the impact of my blow, whimpering. I stepped over him, while tearing out the IV in my arm. I barely even noticed the sharp pain as the needle came out the wrong way. There was blood on the floor from Soda, but I didn't care.

I was crying so hard that I became blinded from my tears. I started punching the wall, not noticing the pain. My fist turned into a bloody mess as each blow broke more of my fingers and left streaks of blood and gore on the white wall. I felt someone pulling my back, and I heard cries of 'Stop!' and 'Dallas!' I elbowed one of them in the hard in the gut, not caring who it was. I was sure it was the rest of the gang. I was screaming at the top of my lungs and my voice was getting hoarse and my hand hurt like hell. I fell on the ground, kicking someone hard in the shin. My arms and legs were flailing and I felt a few hits, but someone was dragging me away from the others. I was screeching for them to put me down and they dropped me. I curled myself into a ball, trembling and sobbing so hard that my throat felt like knives were being stuck down it. My head felt like it was being split open from all the thoughts that rushed through me. The thoughts overwhelmed me, and they turned into a white hot blur until finally disappearing completely.

The room quieted so only soft whimpers were heard, despite my loud weeping. I don't know how long I cried for, but I was only aware of the stabbing pains all over me. You know how they say everyone has their breaking point? Well this was mine, the regret made me break. The gang thinks I broke right after he died, since I went through not eating, mood swings, and depression, but that was just the beginning. Now I'm fully broken beyond repair. And I know I'm hurting them, physically and emotionally, but if they won't let me go then this is what I have to come to.

My sobbing slowed into gasps, then into silence. I could hear the labored breathing of the others, but I attempted to wipe the snot and moister off of my face before I looked up. The room was a mess, with blood smeared everywhere and chairs turned over. The sight brought more tears to my eyes. Lying on the ground was Soda, who was clutching his jaw even in his state. I bit my lip so hard that I could taste the blood on my dry tongue. Next to him was Steve, who was also bleeding and unconscious. I must have hit him in all of the confusion. Two-Bit was sitting on the bed, staring at his hands with his eyes red. He didn't look at me. Pony sat in the corner, curled up like me. He had cuts on his face but otherwise didn't seem harmed. His big grey-green eyes stared at me in a mixture of disgust, fear, and pity. I felt my eyes well up when I looked at his tiny form, so similar to Johnny, yet so different. I swallowed, ignoring the stabbing pains in my heart and head. I spoke, my voice hoarse and broken, barely above a raspy whisper. I couldn't bear to say anything more in depth, I just prayed that they would understand.

"I'm sorry."

_**Hey! This chapter was pretty heavy and I'm so sorry for the wait. I keep having inspirations for other stories then I write them down and get off track with this one, but hopefully I will get better at managing all of my stories. Thank you thank you thank you for reading! Please, pretty please, review. Every time I get a review I get so happy, and I have never gotten over ten reviews on a story. Isn't that sad? So please review, even if you just want to say 'oh cool' or 'good job', even though I would rather have advice and constructive criticism. Flames are welcome! So please tell me what you think, even in one word. I'm going to ask some questions (which I never do because I think it gets annoying) but this is an important chapter.**_

_**~What do you think Dally is going to say to the gang later?**_

_**~Is Dally going to stay with Cherry or commit suicide?**_

_**~Is the gang going to be mad at Dally for what he did?**_

_**~What is going to happen next?**_

_**Thank you all SOOOO much! Love you lots,**_

_**Alaina**_


	7. Chapter 7

Ch 7:

"_I'm not afraid, to take a stand. Everybody, come take my hand, come take my hand. We'll walk this road together through the storm. Whatever weather; cold or warm. Just to let you know, you're not alone. Holler if you feel like you been down the same road." _

~Eminem (Not Afraid)

**Ponyboy's P.O.V:**

"He didn't mean it!" I pleaded desperately. Four pairs of apprehensive eyes stared back at me; four pairs of fists were clenched tightly. Steve, Soda, Two Bit, and Darry were (mostly) bandaged and angry. I tried to beg them with my eyes, but they stared past me without pity.

"We don't have the money Ponyboy. He deserves it." Darry said firmly. I shook my head. Did Dally deserve to go back to jail? Yes, since what he did was completely manically. But could he _take _going back to jail? No way. He had told me how jail brings back the memories even more then the hospital does. I shook my head angrily, letting my eyes graze over the gang. Dally's 'supposed' to be friends.

Then I stalked out of the room, slamming the door behind me. I could hear them talking and arguing loudly, which only made me fume more. I grabbed Soda's ratty old bicycle from the driveway, and peddled furiously down the street. During old times, if I did this I would get jumped by a couple of Socs instantly. But now, things were different. The Socs left us alone, and we left them alone. Except for the occasional little skirmishes, no one fought with each other anymore. It was a nice change, but I would rather have things the way they were before with Johnny still alive then the way they were now.

I cycled into Soc territory, but not even one person wearing madras even gave me a second look. I looked around at the nice street with the trimmed yards, pleasant little houses. I would love to live here, if we had the money. Then Darry wouldn't have to spend so much time fixing up our little run down house, and he would finally relax. Soda could go to school… _No_. I told myself firmly. It was no use thinking of those things when I knew they would never happen.

I pedaled faster and harder until I reached a tall, yellow house with little white flowers out front. Cherry's house. I sprinted up to the door, unsure of what my hurry was. I hesitated, however, to ring the doorbell. My finger hovered over the little granite button, thinking over in my head of what I would say. It wasn't easy to ask someone to bail your buddy out of jail, especially when this specific person wasn't even involved in the incident that got him in jail. I took a deep breath, and pressed the button.

I heard the ring echoing through the house, and I nervously combed my hair back with my fingers. I heard footsteps, clicking heels on the stone flooring. Then the door swung open.

"Ponyboy!" Cherry crowed, embracing me with surprising strength. I hugged her back, trying to keep the smile off of my face.

"Hey." I said coolly, shoving my hands in my pocket once she had shut the front door so her parents couldn't over hear.

"What's going on?" She asked when she looked at my bruised and cut face. I looked down, sighing dejectedly.

"Cherry…. Dally's in jail. He…." I trailed off, and Cherry's eyes instantly grew panicked. "He, kind of got really upset and…." I trailed off again, not sure of what to say. What had happened had haunted me since that day, the crazed look in Dally's eyes, the way he lashed out without a second thought. Before I knew what I was doing, I was spilling out everything to Cherry, in great detail, watching her eyes get wider and wider.

Once I finished, her mouth fell open in absolute horror and shock. I bit my lip and nodded sadly. She crossed her arms over her tank top, gripping her shoulders as if she was trying to pull herself together.

"Of course I'll bail him out, but… why? Why would he do that?"

"Cherry, he's messed up right now. Look, he needs someone to convince him that everything's still okay, that Johnny doesn't mind. Golly, I wish Johnny could tell him that. I think he might be the only one who can." I checked her expression to make sure she understood. Her eyes softened briefly.

"I understand… I'm going to bail him out then talk to him. Wish me luck." She gave me a sympathetic smile, before disappearing back into her house.

**Cherry's POV**

I crossed my arms around my chest, shivering. But not because I was cold. It was just the look Dally was giving me as the cop unlocked his handcuffs. His gaze was hard, utterly blank, and emotionless. Normally he had so much emotion these days, because that was the difference between Socs and Greasers after all. Socs had no emotion, Greasers had too much.

"Thanks." Dallas's voice was guarded as we slowly walked to my Corvette. I nodded my head, trying to not let show how hard my heart was pounding at how close our hands were. They were just barely touching, brushing against each other's fingers. It sent tingles down my spine.

We got into the car silently, him leaning against the window. There were dark circles under his eyes, and he just seemed… defeated.

"Did they tell you what happened?" His tone turned bitter like it always was, and I felt my muscles relax from there tense position on the steering wheel. I nodded my head slowly, biting my lip. He let out a shaky sigh.

"I'm such a terrible person. They are never going to forgive me." Dally's voice wavered, and I reached out and took his hand gently. He looked at our now intertwined hands. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a smile pull at the corners of his lips before fading.

We spent the rest of the ride in silence. I turned into my driveway, and led him inside. He didn't even protest, or ask why he was there. I led him to my all-white living room, before stopping and grabbing both of his hands in mine. He looked at me skeptically.

"Dally; we are all trying hard to help you through this." I paused, and his eyes left mine for the floor. "And I would do anything I can to make you right again. Johnny wouldn't want you to be the shell of the person you used to be, he would want you to be reckless, to get drunk, to go to rodeos, to have a girlfriend…" A single tear dripped down his cheek and I brushed it away with one finger.

"He would want you to live." I paused, and pulled him closer to me. "Because he can't." I whispered. I leaned up and pressed his lips to mine, letting my hands rest gently on his broad chest. At first he kissed me lightly, then pulled away to regard me.

"I need time." He said lowly, his voice throaty and deep. I nodded, and entangled my hands into his hair before pulling him back to me. This time, his lips were passionate and held their own. We both breathed heavily, and our lips bit against each other's hungrily. His hands caressed my body, starting through my hair and moving down to my hips.

He pushed my down on the couch and got on top of me, kissing my fiercely. I kissed him back with as much vigor as I could, pressing my body against his in a way so I could feel his heartbeat through his thin shirt. I bet he could feel mine.

When he started unbuttoning my shirt, I didn't protest. I would give him time, just like he asked. But right now, I wish time would just pause so I could appreciate the beauty of this moment. Because, somewhere deep inside, I had feeling it would never happen again.

_**I am sooo sorry! I am so bad at updating, I'm just juggling a lot of stories right now (which is completely my fault) and I've had huge writers block. I hope this chapter makes up for it, even though its somewhat short :/ Thank you so much my lovely readers and reviewers, and I would love it if I got at least a few reviews on this chapter even though I do not deserve them. Next chapter should be out fairly soon… I'll try to update a lot sooner than I have been! Love all of you guys!**_

_**~Alaina**_


	8. Chapter 8

Ch 8: 

"_We are young! We drink and we fight and we love just because. We are numb, we're on the run, and you're never going to chase us down. We are young."_

~3oh!3 (We Are Young)

**Dally's POV:**

I could feel the heat of the sunlight beneath my closed eyelids. I was at a moment of peace, the one where you half wake up in the morning and you have completely forgotten about what happened the night before. I basked in the warmth and peace of it all, until I opened my eyes.

I froze for a moment, staring at the grey ceiling. I could hear light, calmed breathing from right next to me. I turned my head slowly so I was staring at a beautiful face. Pale cream in color, with skin so silky and soft that it looked like satin. Closed eyelids with long dark lashes that just barely brushed her cheek. Full, pale pink lips that parted ever so slightly as she breathed. Curly dark red hair that surrounded her face like fire against the moon. My heartbeat stammered, and I wondered once again when I had become such a softie.

Just then, my eyes traveled to her bare shoulder, covered partly by the linen sheets. I had faint memories of last night, mostly just remembering her beauty and the feeling of her skin against mine.

Just then, her eyelids fluttered. I watched slowly as her face came to life, her eyes blinking rapidly and glittering, and her lips stretching into a slow smile when she saw me watching her. I leaned in, unable to resist, and slowly pressed my lips to her forehead. When I pulled away, a look of confusion was on Cherry's features.

"Good morning." I whispered, giving her a grin so she knew I was alright. She blinked again, her eyelashes fluttering. She bit her lip gently, her eyes traveling to the parts of my body that weren't covered by the sheets. Suddenly, she gasped.

Cherry jumped up from the bed, grabbing part of the sheet as she did to cover herself. Her emerald eyes were wide, her lips parted in a perfect 'o'.

"No. No." Tears sparkled in her eyes. I frowned in bewilderment. What was going on? She darted to the bathroom, pulling the sheets with her, and slamming the door behind her. I sat back onto the bed frame, running my hands through my hair in agitation.

I waited for about five minutes, before deciding that she probably wasn't coming out anytime soon. I rose to my feet, feeling the dizziness hit me so hard that I had to sit back down again. My heart was pounding in my ears, and my head was spinning. It was like I was in a hangover, when I didn't even drink. I guess the effects of barely eating were getting to me.

Then I remembered why I wasn't eating. Why I came to Cherry's house. I remembered everything. And it suddenly made sense why she had run from me. She thought I was going to leave her again. But I suddenly knew exactly what to do. It was like someone was telling me that it was right, and I could feel the presence of someone else in the room with me. I wasn't sure who it exactly was, but I had a good idea. Johnny. For the first time, it didn't hurt to think his name.

I dressed quickly, throwing on my old clothes from the day before. I winced when I saw a small bloodstain on the jeans, but otherwise I put all thoughts from my mind.

"Cherry?" I rapped on the bathroom door, ignoring the spinning in my head and how my knuckles seemed to bruise instantly on contact. I was real weak, but I would be fine in a couple of weeks. Almost back to the way I was before I would say, but wiser. I would make good decisions, and I would live my life like I was supposed to.

The doorknob clicked, and I watched slowly as the brass knob turned. The door swung open, and before me stood Cherry. There were tears streaming down her face, her eyes red and puffy, but she still managed to look beautiful. She had put on pajamas, and her arms were wrapped around her waist protectively. But just staring into her dark jade eyes, I knew right then that I was making the right choice. I leaned in slowly, noticing every little detail of her face. The curves of her cheek bones, the tear drops in her eyelashes, the shape of her lips, the color blooming in her cheeks.

I let my lips brush hers gently. Heat waves moved through me, electricity burned beneath my lips. I knew I had loved her for a while, but I had never felt the extent of it to a point like this.

"I don't understand." Cherry breathed, her gaze searching my expression with clear confusion. I let my hand caress her cheek, feeling its softness underneath my finger tips. I loved her so much. I felt Johnny's presence close by, and I knew that he was telling me it was okay to do this. He wanted me to.

"I'm never going to leave you again Cherry. Not ever." And with that, I leaned forward and closed the space between us once more.

***  
**Cherry's POV:**

Triumph. Triumph was the first thing I felt as he kissed me passionately. I had won. I had convinced Dallas Winston to not commit suicide. After the triumph came relief. Then love.

The way he kissed me and held me, it was like he knew I was delicate. He knew I could break at any moment, just like he did. But he didn't mind. He was going to hold me and keep me safe, letting his strong arms create a cradle for me. He wouldn't ever let me ago, not ever again.

I knew all of this without words, somehow. Dally just told me it all through this kiss, as he pulled me closer even though our bodies were already pressed together. His arms circled my waist, and I let my hands creep up his neck. I knew what we did last night was rash, and completely berserk, but that didn't matter. Even if something were to come out of it, I knew he would stand by me. Now he was just making it official.

Once we both pulled away, I stared into his eyes. The ice in them had melted away; erasing the steely look of his face and making him look unbelievably handsome and sweet.

"I have to go talk to the others. I have to… apologize for what I did." His gaze flickered from sweet to worried for a moment, before going back to the knee-shaking gorgeous expression he showed me that one night of the rodeo, when he had finally started opening up to me. Becoming the man I loved today. I have seen him hurt, and angry. But I had never actually seen him truly happy. Now I have.

"Of course." I said quickly to his spoken words. "You should make things right." Dallas nodded, kissing me again. I melted under his touch, though I tried to hold my ground. I had already shown him so much weakness, and it was weak that I felt uneasy that he had to leave me for even a few minutes. I knew I had been scarred real bad when he got sick, but I had no idea that I would still feel the rash of it right now.

"I don't want to leave either. I'll be back." Dally mumbled into my hair. I could feel his breath on the back of my neck, and it sent tingles through me. He pulled me to his chest, and I let his warmth spread through me before he pulled away.

"Your acting like you'll never see me again." A small grin pulled onto his lips, letting me know that he was not trying to make fun of me. I shrugged lightly, letting myself smile back.

"Will I see you soon?" He nodded, and kissed me one last time. I let the kiss linger, pulling him closer until he chuckled and pushed me (gently of course) away. I walked him to the front door, barely able to stand being so close to him and not touching him. I let my hand brush against his as we walked, but he never had seemed like the type to hold hands. I watched him walk through the front door, and only letting my smile fade when it closed behind him.

Instantly my heart beat sped up when I thought of what had happened last night. If Dally was going to stay true to his words of not leaving, then maybe we would be okay. But if he was going to go all maniac on me again? What would I do? I would have to drop out of senior year to take care of the baby, and he would probably run out on me like he did every other girl he got pregnant. The thought sent waves of sickness to my stomach.

I ran to the nearest bathroom, barely just vomiting into the toilet. I dry heaved, pulling my already sweaty hair out of my face. I was shaking, but I knew this wasn't pregnancy sickness. I was just really scared. Scared of him leaving me. Scared of having a kid. Was I ready to take care of a whole life?

Was Dally? I knew I was probably over reacting, but still. I was such an idiot. I knew what could happen, and yet I let him. I was such a stupid girl.

I stepped into the shower after stripping my damp clothes. I was a sweating and shaking mess, and the hot water somewhat made me calmer. I cranked up the heat until it burned my skin, but it made my quivering stop and that was all I needed right now. I was sobbing hysterically for the second time that morning. I wasn't sure how I could go from feeling on top of the world one moment, to like I was falling through the universe the next. But it scared me how vulnerable I already was.

I waited until my tears ran dry and my skin was numb from the heat. I wrapped two fluffy towels around my now-pink skin. I tottered up to my room, trying to let my mind go blank. _You are going to be okay_. I told myself. _You might not even be pregnant. _But not even I believed me.

_**Hey guys! I'm going to be updating shorter chapters from now on, since most of them will be drama packed and important to the story. Plus it's easier to update. Thank you to ALL of my lovely readers/reviewers, especially THG123. I tried to reply to your message, but I'm not sure if it went through! Let me know if it didn't. Anyway, I have been very busy in horse camp this entire week, so I'm so sorry for not updating sooner. I hope this somewhat makes up for it. I love all of you!**_

_**~Alaina **_


	9. Chapter 9

Ch 9:

"_Everyone dies, but not everyone lives."_

~Nikki Manaj

**Dally's POV**

I reached for the door bell again, but sighed and drew my hand back before I mustered up the courage to ring it. How was I going to say I'm sorry? I had put them through so much, and now I was too wimpy to even apologize? I wrung my hands in frustration. Then I reached out and rang the bell.

I held my breath while I heard joyful shouts of 'I'm coming!' and rowdy clumping of their hurried footsteps. The door swung open, and I came face to face with Two-Bit. He froze when he saw me, the smile melting off of his face and turning to a scowl. He was the same ol' Two-Bit, except with that frown on his face he looked nothing like his usual self. I opened my mouth, but no words came out.

"Dallas." His tone was bitter, and with his fists clenched like that he almost looked like a regular hood.

"I need to talk to everyone." My voice seemed small and my hands were shaking. I stuffed them into my jean's pockets. Two-Bit's eyes narrowed, his eyes taking in my expression and hopefully my regret. Just then there were footsteps, and I could hear Soda's voice asking who was at the door. Two-Bit glanced behind him as Soda appeared, his jaw bruised. When he saw me, he froze. He looked me over, as Two-Bit had done, and then his usual warm brown eyes hardened.

"Why don't you come in?" Soda's voice was guarded. They both stepped back and I followed them inside the familiar welcoming house. It was still as messy as always, with random clothes and books strewn across the floor. It smelled like cake. It surprised me how long I had gone without stopping buy, and how when my world seemed like it was turning upside down the little things stayed the same. Two-Bit stopped in the living room, where Darry and Steve where watching the news. They both looked up at me.

Darry immediately rose to his feet and advanced on me. His eyes were flaming with hatred and a thousand other emotions, but the hate was definitely the strongest. He loomed over me, and I backed away from him.

"What are you doing here?" He snarled. "You are not welcome here anymore." I hoped the others would protest, but they stayed silent. My chest tightened.

Darry probably would have beaten me up right then and there, and I wouldn't have been able to do a damn thing about it. I was still weak, and I would not do well in a fight against him under normal circumstances. But, Ponyboy walked out of his room and saw Darry cornering me. He looked like a deer caught in headlights, his eyes as wide as dinner plates, looking horrified. We had a whole conversation with our eyes. I felt guilty when I remembered that he had a small crush on Cherry, and even though he still had no idea about what happened, he was still willing to help me.

Pony sprinted over to Darry and pushed him away from me. Pony had gotten taller in the past few months, and now he could look Darry straight in the eye without having to raise his head.

"Back off of him. He came here to apologize. Right?" Pony whipped his head toward me, and I nodded quickly. Darry glared at me, but walked next to Soda as if he was trying to protect him from me. That must have driven Pony mad, seeing how Darry chose Soda over him so much. Darry was terrible with picking favorites, but whenever you tried to tell him off about it, he would get real pissed.

They were all looking at me, waiting for me to talk. My throat felt dry. The words came out before I even thought of them.

"I am sorry for everything I have put you guys through. I've been terrible these past few weeks. I was inconsiderate of what you guys were going through also, that it wasn't just me who was in pain over….. his death. I thought he would be the only thing I would ever love. But then… I realized that I still had all of you. And I do love all of you, like brothers. And I love Cherry. I'm really not alone like I thought. I'm so sorry."

The guys didn't give me time to catch my breath. They all leapt up and we all got into a giant mass hug. I could still see Darry out of the corner of my eye, and he just looked stern rather then angry. I knew it would take longer for me to repair my friendship with him then the others, but right then I was alright with that.

**Pony's POV**

We went out to eat at some nice barbeque restaurant. I was really glad that everyone had forgiven Dally, except for Darry. But at least he was being civil, which was a start.

Dally was back to his usual self, smart talking the waitress's and scowling when they threatened to call the fuzz. But underneath it all, I knew he had truly changed, because there was a sparkle in his eye that hadn't been there before. Even though what we had gone through was terrible, I was secretly glad it had happened. Now we were all even closer than before.

The barbeque wasn't half bad, I scarfed it down like there was no tomorrow. Dally seemed reluctant to eat at first, but we all forced him to. Once he got started, he couldn't stop.

"Let's have a toast!" A tipsy Two-Bit proclaimed, rising his third beer into the air. Everyone mimicked his actions, and I lifted my Pepsi. "To the Dallster, for going back to normal." I rolled my eyes at Two-Bit's dorky announcement but toasted to it anyways. Dally grinned and sloshed some beer on Darry, who was already sitting very straight backed with a hard expression on his face. He glared at Dally, who tossed him a napkin in obliviousness.

I struck up a conversation with Dally, who I was sitting next to.

"You talked to Cherry lately?" He froze mid-bite, looking at me. I could have sworn his face got paler at the mention of her name.

"No. Have you?" His gaze searched my face, his eyes darting around nervously. _Okay._ I thought. _All I did was ask him about his possible girlfriend, why does he get all freaked out?_ And I was pretty sure that they were dating now, she visited him every day in the hospital. I mean, she wasn't allowed in but she still waited outside his door to ask the doctors how he was doing. I knew she cared about him.

"Not recently. Look…. I really don't mind that yall dig each other." I noticed how he instantly relaxed once I said that.

"Good." He said simply, turning away from me to finish his food.

Once I finished my brisket, Darry stood up and practically dragged Soda and I out of the restaurant.

"What's your hurry?" Soda asked, sprinting ahead of us and doing a joyous cartwheel. I grinned and looked at Darry.

"I don't want yall to hang around Dallas anymore." Soda stopped in front of Darry, rolling his eyes. I would have done the same, but Darry already looked pretty pissed. His fists were clenched and his eyes were brooding.

"Dar, he was just unstable. That doesn't mean he's gonna hurt us no more." Soda sighed. Darry glared at him, which surprised me because he adored Soda. He usually never even gave him a dirty look. But I guess things were changing a lot of here, so maybe even Darry and Soda are getting less close and I haven't even realized it. Darry stalked past us, pushing me aside.

"He'll get over it." I assured Soda, whose expression was one of disbelief and disappointment. I patted his shoulder awkwardly, and followed Darry's retreating form back to our house.

**Dally's POV**

After dinner, right when I was leaving the restaurant, I ran into Cherry. Luckily, I was by myself and so was she. I had just stayed behind to pay the bill, and I was just leaving when I literally ran straight into her. Her purse and stuff went flying and I dropped my beer. The bottle shattered, but I couldn't care less. She looked good, like always.

"Hey! Um, sorry." I said quickly, dropping to my hands and knees to pick up the contents of her purse that had spilled. Our hands bumped as we both tried to grab her checkbook. I could hear my pulse clearly.

We both stood up, and without a word to each other started walking outside.

"What are you doing here?" She asked curiously. I found myself staring at her, and looked away before she noticed.

"I was just having dinner with the guys." Cherry stopped under an overgrown willow tree. She put her slender arms around my neck and kissed me softly. The second our lips touched, I wanted more. When she pulled away I tried to kiss her again, but she rested her forehead on mine, letting our noses touch.

"I'm glad you guys made up." She whispered her breathing heavy on my lips. I leaned in and kissed her passionately, but she pulled away all too soon.

"What's wrong?" I cooed, letting my hands travel to the edge of her skirt. She pushed me away roughly, and leaned against the tree. I frowned.

"Dally." Cherry said quietly, her voice thick. She looked like she was about to cry. I rested my hands gently on her shoulders, and she didn't push me away. Her beautiful green eyes found mine, and held my gaze. "You won't leave me will you?"

"No, of course not. Why?" She blinked rapidly, her breathing shaky.

"Dally, would you want to be a father?" My thoughts went blank when she said the word _father._ Would I want to be a father? The thought was scary, having to care for a whole 'nother life that depended on only you and the mother. Cherry… a mother? Wait, then that would mean she's ….

"You're not pregnant are you?" I blurted. She smiled lightly through her tears and shrugged.

"I don't know, it takes weeks to find out. Would you be ready… if I was? You wouldn't leave me would you?" Cherry's voice grew thick, and another tear streamed down her cheek. I shook my head wordlessly, and pulled her to my chest. She was sobbing now, and I just held her. I wasn't sure how to comfort her, but I sure wanted to.

"Hey, don't cry. I may be a complete ass sometimes but… you're never going to be able to get rid of me." Cherry giggled shakily and looked up at me, her emerald eyes still watery.

"I'm scared Dally." Before she could say anything else, I kissed her. It was a soft lingering kiss and I could feel her smiling under my lips. As much as I hated to admit it, I was scared too. But I knew that we would make it through.

_**Hey guys! I know, I know I'm a jerk for not updating sooner. I have been on vacation and been really busy with summer reading assignments, ect. I am a terrible author. I also apologize for Dally being so OOC; my point is I'm trying to show that he is changing. And I'm sorry for this chapter's cheesy ending. I am truthfully just not into this story anymore, but I will still update because I don't want to upset anyone who is actually reading it. I also have never finished a story before, and I want this to be my first. Thank you SOOO much to those who have reviewed, I appreciate every single one. I am not going to even ask for reviews on this chapter, because I do NOT deserve them. I love all of you!**_

_**~Alaina**_


	10. Chapter 10

Ch 10:

"_You're way too young to be broken. You're way too young to fall apart. But you do anyway, because it's not like you have a choice."_

~Anonymous

**Cherry's POV**

A few weeks passed since that evening under the willow tree. The weeks dragged by, as the final weeks of school came to an end. It was a twinge of melancholy feeling about leaving school… I only had one year after this after all. I would miss the long days of class, the football games, even the teachers, but especially the people. Everyone would be splitting up their separate ways, some even leaving the country. I would definitely miss High School.

And then… there was Dallas to deal with. We have barely talked since that night, except for the occasional phone call. However, the calls were always brief and much unfrequented. My heart ached whenever I heard his voice, or even his name.

The day school let out, I woke up earlier than usual in the morning. That queasy feeling in my stomach lurched. It had never gone away, not once these past two weeks. I sprinted to the bathroom and flipped open the toilet seat just in time for me to vomit. I retched a few times once I was finished, my throat aching as if someone had stuck a knife down it. I was sweaty and clammy. Tears had already sprung to my eyes, because this marked the eighth time in fourteen days.

I scrubbed my teeth until the taste was gone, and then opened the cabinet above my sink. With shaky hands, I pulled out the pink cardboard box marked Pregnancy Test.

I followed the directions exactly, and before I knew it I had laid out the strip in the sink. The box said I had to wait about five minutes before it displayed the results. So I picked out an outfit for school, trying to keep my mind off the awaiting strip. It was almost like it was beckoning me closer, but I ignored the temptation and continued getting ready.

I pulled out a cotton summer dress, and slipped the smooth fabric over my bare skin. I looked in the mirror, and my eyes immediately clouded up. There was a small visible bump growing from my stomach. It was barely there, but it was certainly noticeable.

I balled up the dress and threw it at the wall. The sobs had started again, although I was trying hard to keep them under control. I threw on some shorts and a baggy shirt to hide my possible-baby bump. I used foundation to cover up the sallowness of my skin. I used a combo nation of mascara and eyeliner to make my eyes appear bright and beautiful, although they were truthfully dull and unseeing. Then I ran a brush through my tangled damp hair, before fast-walking back toward the sink.

I closed my eyes and felt around until I felt the cardboard under my hand. I rose it up slowly. I peeked open one eye, scared at what I would see.

**Darry's POV**

I cursed loudly as the hammer bruised the edge of my thumb. My flesh already turned a slight purple color, and it throbbed like hell. I looked up to see what caused the distraction, and found it was Ponyboy, standing on the front lawn. I had been working on fixing the hole in our roof for about three hours now. Two-Bit had fallen through the roof and into the attic, as Soda had told me. What he was doing on the roof in the first place beats me, though I sure wasn't happy with him for it.

"Darry!" Pony called again, waving his arm to get my attention. I sighed and nailed the last nail in place, before slowly climbing back to the ground. Pony gave me an overlarge grin, which I ignored.

"What do you want?" I snapped. His face fell, but I was more interested in the fact that Cherry Valance was standing behind him. She looked as though she hadn't slept in weeks, and that she had been crying recently. I knotted my eyebrows together in bewilderment.

"She wants to talk to you." Pony shrugged happily, completely oblivious to the awkward tension in the air. Thank the Lord Dally wasn't here.

"Oh, alright. Let's go inside." I lead Cherry back to the house, Pony on our heels. But once we reached the kitchen he turned and went into his room. The kid may not use his head, but at least he knew when he wasn't wanted.

"What's going on?" I asked Cherry, rummaging through the fridge for a drink. I found two cans of Pepsi and poured them into glasses. I slid one to Cherry, who took it with shaking hands.

"I-I…." She stuttered for a moment, her eyelashes fluttering as she blinked rapidly. Then she broke down crying. I watched as though in a trance for a minute, while her shoulders shook. I stood up, murmuring comforting words and rubbed her arms gently.

"What happened?" I asked, because now I was pretty concerned. Maybe Dally lashed out again. I mean it was odd how he just completely went back to normal; I'm sure some part of him was still as shattered as before. I knew that he was going to break down again, and I was truthfully terrified for that moment. But maybe it had already happened, and I wasn't even involved in it.

"I didn't want this to happen. I don't want him to leave me." Cherry managed to gasp, but the second the words left her mouth she started sobbing again. I pulled her to my chest clumsily, letting her tears soak through my shirt.

I knew immediately the 'he' she was talking about was Dallas. But what he did was besides me, though Cherry was really starting to worry me. She was always tough, and I had never even seen her look wounded over something. And we had never been close, so I didn't understand why she was coming to me out of anyone else in the world. I mean we had talked but mostly just brief exchanges of words, not full blown conversations. And now she was sobbing into my shirt.

"What happened?" Ponyboy asked, jogging into the room. He looked extremely worried when he laid eyes on Cherry, who hadn't even looked up when he entered the room. I shrugged, handing her a tissue which she gladly took.

Pony's hands where immediately resting on Cherry's shoulders, pulling her close to him. She gave him a watery smile before throwing her arms around him and breaking down into fresh tears. Ponyboy was a lot better at comforting her then I was. However it seemed unfair how quickly he would take her back in, when it was so obvious she had chosen Dallas. And even though Pony had been heartbroken, now he was just getting smitten all over again.

Soda, Steve, and Two-Bit bounced into the room, all laughing loudly over some incident at the gas station. All I picked up was that they played a prank on their boss. But when they reached the kitchen they all went silent, looking at Cherry in bewilderment and anguish. Even Two-Bit looked worried.

"We don't know." Ponyboy mouthed to them, his grey-green eyes wide.

"Dally?" Soda whispered back. He knitted his eyebrows together while he leaned against the counter.

"I think so." I replied almost silently. Pony bit his lip, avoiding our eyes. I looked back at Cherry, whose sobs had resolved into sniffles. She was such a mess.

"Cherry, what happened?" I asked, my voice completely and utterly solemn. Cherry looked at me, her eyes still glittering with tears. She pushed her red hair out of her face, standing up shakily. Moving away from Pony's grasp, she stood up straight and stared at all of us, who were looking back in anticipation and fear.

"I'm pregnant."

_**No explanation needed I know this chapter was short, and I'm sorry about that! The next one is going to be filled with tension and cute Ponyboy moments, so be prepared! Thank you all of my lovely readers/reviewers, I truthfully love all of you. Please leave a review telling me what you think, advice and criticism is what keeps me going! Flames are welcome. Also, I have never set a disclaimer, but S.E. Hinton owns the Outsiders and the characters, I only own the plot of this story! I'm going to ask one question because I am truthfully curious, who is yall's favorite character? Mines Dally Thanks!**_

_**~Lots of love,**_

_**Alaina**_


	11. Chapter 11

Ch 11:

"_Who can say if I've been changed for the better? But because I knew you, I have been changed for good."_

~Wicked (For Good)

**Ponyboy's POV**

I opened and closed my mouth wordlessly at the beautiful mystery girl in front of me. Her red hair was pulled back into a messy bun, her flawless skin was paler than usual, her emerald eyes were sparkling with tears, and most importantly, her hand was resting on her stomach. She looked so much like Cherry, except this girl in front of me wasn't the Cherry I used to know. The Cherry I knew was stubborn, bold and knew what was good for her. This girl was the exact opposite.

She was pregnant. With no doubt his baby. Why else would he look so horrified behind her shaking form? But I couldn't even focus on Dallas right now.

Why would she do such a thing with someone so unstable? I know he had been getting better, but what she didn't know was that his changing attitude was because he was shutting off all thoughts about Johnny. He was trying to make himself forget what had happened, when really it was all going to come back and hit him twice as hard.

"Cherry…" Two-Bit pointed to Dally, once without sarcasm or humor in his features. Soda's eyes kept shifting to me warily.

She turned around and faced a frozen Dallas in the doorway. His face bore no emotion now, even though everyone could read his thought patterns quite clearly. Who knew what he was going to do now. He was back to unpredictable Dally, thanks to her and this rollercoaster of hell that we like to call our lives. Part of me wanted to step in front of her, but I reminded myself that this girl wasn't Cherry. She was a stranger to me.

"Haven't we all been through enough?" He asked in a low voice that was filled to the brim with danger. She should have seen this as a caution sign, flaring with strobe lights, but she must have turned blind at the wrong moment.

"We talked about this Dally." Cherry whispered, her voice pleading and raspy with new tears.

"Abort it." He snapped sharply. It was more of a demand than anything else. Darry stood up when Dallas stepped fully into the house. I could smell the vodka from five feet away from him. We'd all gotten the drift that he had started drinking in the past week, but he hadn't been around much to prove our suspicions. Damn, this was not going to turn out well.

"It's not his fault." Cherry said defensively.

"He? So now it's a he?" Dally roared, taking a step closer. Now his face was pale with rage. Darry quickly moved in front of me and Soda, even though we weren't in the red zone. I heard him mutter 'I told you so' under his breath, probably referring to him not wanting us to talk to Dally after his pretty believable apology. For a few weeks only he was sentimental.

"It's a BABY Dallas, not just a mistake!" Cherry snapped back. Now she was getting all fired up too, with him disrespecting their baby and all. Dallas's son or daughter. Him as the dad and her as the mother. My eyes were getting hot and I was breathing funny.

"What's your father going to think? You're mom?" He was just getting started though; we all knew he was capable of so much more. "We'll have to have a shotgun wedding if anyone wants to think we are the slightest bit sensible. Do you think I want to get married? Do you think I want to be a father?"

"You promised Dally! You're never sensible anyway." Cherry's voice cracked, but she still yelled it with vigor. She was full on crying now. Dallas dropped his beer bottle, and it shattered over the newly cleaned floor. Darry, for once, did not interfere, but did wince as Dallas stepped forward. The rest of the gang was silent in shock and anticipation_. Nothing like a little drama_, I thought sarcastically.

"Did you think that I wanted this? That I wanted the responsibilities? That I want to be a father? That I'm just all of the sudden alright? That I can have just fucking moved on?"

A deathly silence fell over the room. I think we all realized that Dally wasn't just talking about Cherry and the baby now. The smell of his drunken state was making me dizzy, yet he was completely serious and sober acting. I guess we had all thought that he had just moved on. Not forgotten, but that he was getting over it. But now, he was standing here with this look in his eyes, and we all knew that he hadn't.

"I can't let myself be in charge of a kid. I have enough problems as it is! The Soc and Grease stuff hasn't just magically gone away you know! I've been jumped probably five times in the last two weeks. Nothing feels balanced anymore without Johnny. I'm not stable and I don't trust myself with you, let alone a baby." He stared in almost in disgust at Cherry, before turning right around in the same door he came in. He slammed the door behind him, making the whole house shake. I could have sworn I saw a tear glistening on his cheek.

**Dally's POV**

I wasn't mad at Cherry. Even though my thoughts were foggy and thwarted in the state of my drunkenness, I knew for sure that if wasn't her I was mad at. I was mad at myself. I was mad at my bad luck. I was mad at Darry for giving me those harsh uncaring glares. I was just generally mad.

Cherry didn't follow me out of the house. I would give it a few days or two before I straightened things out with her. I would stay with her. I would protect the baby, even though I hated it with everything I had. I didn't want it, but by the way Cherry was instantly defending it, I knew there was no way that she would ever get rid of it. Dammit, she was already so fond of it, I could tell by the way she cradled her still-flat stomach, and wouldn't let me get near her as if I would hurt it. I wouldn't leave her. I couldn't even if I tried.

I kicked a rock and watched with a slight sense of joy as it broke someone's cars windows. The piece of shit needed to be thrown out anyway.

I thought of Johnny. The thought of him didn't make my chest ache or my eyes water, and for the first time I just felt blank when I thought his name. I couldn't remember what he looked like. That stung a bit, but I shoved it away before I got too mad. I could make anything disappear in my mind when I'm drunk. It makes everything so much easier.

The man with my eyes. The mystery man who my mom has called my father. How could he be my dad when I've only seen him in pictures? I didn't want to be like him. I didn't want to leave my possible son or daughter. The thought made me shudder; I am only fucking 17 for pete's sake. That just ain't right, even though I know I am no gentlemen.

I walked down the road, my thoughts swirling like a glass of tequila. I thought of Cherry, and her green eyes that always seemed to be filled with tears when I was with her. I thought of the gang, and how they tried so hard to help me when I was past the point of caring. I thought of alcoholic mother and my non-existent father. Last of all, I thought of Johnny, just as the cars headlights drew closer and closer. I didn't move from my spot in the middle of the road. It was just a murky memory, but I remembered his face when I told him I was proud. I thought of Johnny.

_**Duh duh duuhhhh! I'm such a moment breaker Okay; well here is my incredibly slow and suckish update! I'm sorry for the delay and the shortness of this chapter, but there really wasn't anything else I could put in here that doesn't need to be saved for the other chapters. I want to thank yall so much for all of the reviews, I was reading them the other day and I nearly cried because they were so sweet. So thank you so much for all of those! A special thanks to those of you who have reviewed more than once, such as THG123, Missy Moo, and Constellapeia. I love yall (and everyone else of course). So here's my excuse for not updating sooner. I'm involved with a LOT in school (OAP, the dance team, drama club, AVID, Pre Ap Language Arts, Student Council, NJHS, ect) and I've had a lot of schoolwork and homework to balance although I'm only in eighth grade (yes, I'm 13). Annnd I have a lot of other stories I'm trying to keep up with too. So thanks for waiting patiently Check out my authors page if you can, I've updated it with a full summary, songs that remind me of this, and my favorite characters and pairings. I have this for like all of my favorite book/TV series. So check it out! I love yall to death! Please review. And happy almost Halloween! **_

_**~Lots of love,**_

_**Alaina**_


	12. Chapter 12

Ch 12:

"_Lost time is never found again."_

~Benjamin Franklin

**Two-Bit's POV**

We all watched as little Pony put his still-blonde head in his hands. Well, honestly he wasn't that little anymore. The kid had grown, already aging to quickly much like Darrel. The broad didn't even give Pony a second glance after everything he had done for her. She just stared at the shattered glass on the floor.

I moved toward the kid, surprised that Soda hadn't already. Usually he was the comforting one, but right now he was sitting on the couch with Steve, very obviously fighting back tears. I think most of us were at that point right now. And who could blame us? It made me mad too, thinking about all this shit that we had to put up with. It's not like we asked to be all wrapped up in the Soc crap, let alone all of this with Johnny being gone and Dally being so unstable.

"Hey." I whispered gently, putting a hand on Pony's shoulder. Cherry ran her fingers through her hair and subconsciously rested her hand on her stomach. I looked back at the still boy, his head now raised. He was openly glaring at her now.

"You should go home. Talk to your parents." Darry suggested to Cherry, his eyes darting between her and Pony. Cherry nodded stiffly. She left without thanking any of us. I felt a twinge of annoyance, but nothing more.

"He's right you know." Soda said quietly. We all turned to him, as he lifted his head from his hands.

"About what, Soda Pop?" Darry asked his voice anxious.

"The Soc stuff isn't over. It never was. It's wrong that they still don't value us as people after what they've done to us. How come we can accept that they have issues too and they can't accept us?" A ringing silence fell over head. I felt sick at the truth of his words.

"Exactly. I can't imagine anyone jumping Dally, but he said so, so they must have. Something's bound to happen when they found out that Cherry's pregnant." Steve muttered, rubbing his temples. Pony tensed when he said Cherry's name. The kid looked like he was going to pass out. Who could blame him? We all knew he the hots for her.

"Where did Dally think he was going anyway?" Darry wondered aloud. We all shrugged. To be honest, at this point there was nothing we could do.

"No matter where he is, we can't save him anymore." Pony said lowly. Even though we all knew he was being dead honest, it was hard to hear it out loud. It's not easy, when we've worked so hard to keep him from himself, when in the end we all knew how it was going to turn out. And now, no matter what, there was no way we were changing his mind.

"We're just going to let him go? Just like that?" I whispered. For once, there was no opening for me to put in a joke. Nothing could lighten this mood.

"I don't think we have a choice." Darry replied.

**Soda's POV**

One day had passed since Dally had stormed out of the back door. Everyone stayed at our place, because we all knew that we wouldn't want to be anywhere else. I think we were all lost in thought, about how quickly our life had been screwed up, and how now there was no way it was going to get better from here.

I thought of Sandy for the first time in a while. Before I couldn't even think of her name without hurting, but now just an empty hallow feeling replaced the feeling of loss. I wondered what if she hadn't left me, would it have changed anything? That led me to knowing that it wouldn't have in the slightest bit. Fate was fate, but why was ours turning out like this?

I wished Dally would make up his mind already. I think everyone did. But yet again, we needed him, which was why we were so desperately trying to help him. We had already lost Johnny, and losing Dally would be the pain all over again when the wound was just starting to heal.

We barely spoke. Pony was probably thinking of Cherry and Dally. Darry about Pony and me. Steve about Evie. Two Bit about all of us. When was it all going to end?

I talked to Pony on Dally's second day of absence.

"When do you think this whole mess started?" I asked. We were sitting alone in his room. He tossed aside his English essay that he was reading for the fifth time in the past week. He never did show us how it turned out. I reminded myself to ask him about it when this was all over, if it ever did end.

"When Mom and Dad died." He replied. His voice was hoarse.

"That's true." The usual silence that we had become accustomed to fell over us. I listened to the muffled sound of the crickets outside. Mom used to love listening to the crickets.

"Have you been having the dream lately?" I had almost forgotten about Pony's nightmare. I had always thought it just came to him when he was missing Mom and Dad. I know that wasn't lately, but I was worried about his health. He frowned.

"Not _the_ dream, but I have had… different ones lately." He met my eyes for the first time in days. I noticed how he seemed a bit nervous and kept glancing at the door. I nodded for him to continue. "They've all been… about Johnny. Well, not about him, but with him."

"With him?" Now it was my turn to frown.

"I've been talking to him. In my dreams." I sat up straighter and stared at Pony in awe. Suddenly, the conversation took a different turn.

"Like, actually talking to him?" I couldn't help how fast my heart was beating, and how electricity seemed to buzz through me.

"Yeah. He's worried about Dally too." I opened and closed my mouth, at a loss for words. It couldn't be possible. Could he be imagining it? I know Pony had a vivid imagination, but since he had been hurting over Johnny like the rest of us, he mostly tried to block out thoughts and conversations about him. Could it be true?

"Ponyboy, are you positive it's actually Johnny?" I found my voice again.

"I'm positive. I don't know how it's possible… but it's him. Really him Soda." There were tears in both of our eyes when he fell quiet again.

"I told Dally he never left us." Pony said, a sob escaping his throat. We both bawled for a minute. I couldn't help it, knowing that Johnny really wasn't completely gone had hit me hard. My breath was quivering and the tears just kept coming. They subsided in a few moments.

"How long have you been talking to him? Can he talk to Dally?" I questioned when half of my tears had dried.

"Ever since the night Dally left. He wants to, but he's not sure how he's even talking to me. He's in heaven." I smiled lightly. Of course the kid was. I had never doubted that.

"You have to tell everyone. Why is he only talking to you?" I pouted, making Pony laugh quietly. None o us had laughed in a while, and it was good to hear someone feel happy, even if it was only for a second. I tried to picture the rest of the gang's reactions, but I couldn't. Steve and Darry wouldn't believe him, but everyone else would.

"I'm planning on it. I don't think he can talk to anyone else… he's trying though. It's difficult."

"So… has he been watching us, this entire time?"

"Of course." Pony looked about me quizzically. "He's so relieved that I'm finally responding to him."

"This is so weird." I laughed lightly, and Pony grinned.

"I know. I never believed in this kind of stuff. But… it's such a relief to have him back. I can finally tell him the things I didn't have time for. I never believed in miracles… but now I do. And I know that he's the only one who can save Dally." Pony sniffled, and I felt the tears returning at his words.

"He will save him. We'll find a way."

…_**..ya like? I nearly cried myself writing this chapter. I know it far-fetched, but think about it. It could be possible, right? I mean, we know absolutely nothing about heaven. Sorry it was short, and sorry for the delay! I think I'm inspired again though. So let me know what you think, and who you expect to see again in the next chapter. I'm afraid Dally won't be in the next few, so sorry about that. I love you guys!**_

_**~Lots of love,**_

_**Alaina**_


	13. Chapter 13

Ch 13:

"_Our hopes are but memories reversed."_

~Anonymous

**Ponyboy's POV**

"That's insane Ponyboy, are you sure it's not just in your head?" Darry asked for the millionth time. I rolled my eyes at him, just as the rest of the gang did.

"Ponyboy may lie about a lot of things, but not this." Two-Bit said, that old sparkle in his eye and his sarcasm returned. Just me telling everyone about talking to Johnny had lightened the mood hugely. Our minds we're now less focused on Dally's disappearance, and Cherry's pregnancy. Although my chest still hurt whenever the word "baby", "love", or "Dally" came up, now I had something to be excited about.

"Gee, thanks Matthews." I said, sticking my tongue out at him.

"Has he… mentioned us?" Out of all of us, Steve was definitely the most disturbed by this. He winced when I had told us, and had sat there staring at the wall for about an hour. But now I think he was at least recovering… sort of.

"Yup." Truth be told, I was a bit tired of explaining the details of every single dream over and over again, even though they still astounded me all the same.

The first one that I knew was real was mind blowing. I was back at the church with the chilly evening air fogging through the valley. The sun was just beginning to set, and Johnny was next to me. Now, I had dreams like this before, but most of them were horrific and ended with Johnny withering away to dust. But this time he talked to me. He didn't speak to me like he would back then, but he was speaking about the present. And that's when I knew it was real, and not just in my head.

He talked to me like we always did. His voice faltered when he mentioned Dallas going crazy, and I asked him how we could get him to ever be alright. He just shrugged, those puppy dog eyes bright with sadness.

"I might be the only one who can convince him." And that's when I knew that there was a way.

We hadn't talked to Cherry since the night, but honestly, I didn't want to. She played us, and I did feel bad that Dallas had gotten so angry when he said he would stick by her. But she had flirted with me, and led me on and I was upset with her for it. All along this, her and Dally had been sexing it up. And now we were going to pay.

There had already been occurrences with Socs. Steve was jumped yesterday, and it was just as scary as it had been when this whole mess had started.

I was attempting to do math homework, but my brain just didn't want to. Then I heard a yell, a yell so familiar that it made all of me ring with a sense of déjà vu. It was the alarm call that Soda created whenever one of the gang members needed help. It was just one singular, frantic whistle.

I jumped to my feet and raced outside, just as Darry was leaving too. We both ran to Soda, who was crouched over a coughing Steve who was lying on the asphalt.

"What happened?" Darry's voice was rough. I couldn't speak, because I couldn't believe that this was happening. We thought that the Socs declared us even once Johnny had died, since we both knew that it had all gone too far.

"I just was walking over when four of them pulled up." Steve hacked, sitting up and glaring at us. "They threatened me, saying something about how it was unacceptable that a Greaser's DNA would be in a Soc baby. They must have found out about Cherry." His voice was bitter.

While he leaned over and was sick, I looked away and thought about what this could mean. The Socs were the least of our problems right now, and I sure as hell didn't want another rumble.

That had been weighing heavily on our minds ever since that night, and I even had nightmares about dark looking clean cut Socs chocking hard Steve until he fell to the ground, purple. Sometimes Johnny was the one who's neck was vulnerable under their grasps. Either way, I always woke up in cold sweat with scream penetrating my empty room.

"Have you heard from Cherry?" I heard Soda whisper to Darry in the kitchen, pulling me out of my haphazard thoughts. We had just finished a sit around the TV dinner, and the gang had scattered. Cherry's name made my breathing hitch, but even so, my attention was immediately drawn. Her name hadn't come up in a week since that horrible night.

"I haven't, but I've heard she's a mess. We should probably go find Dally…" His voice dropped to a barely there whisper and I had to strain to listen.

The only words I picked up were 'car accident' and 'assisted suicide'.

**Darry's P.O.V**

There was a car accident. I saw it on the news once everyone had left our house. And my heart froze. Literally.

I stared at the screen as the blonde weather reporter explained that it occurred just on the outskirts of Tulsa. My hand was dialing Two-Bit's number before my mind even had time to think. I kept watching the news cast as she explained that there was a car holding an old man that collided with a mystery person. The person's actual body was never found, although there is blood evidence. They haven't taken DNA tests on it yet.

He picked up on the first ring, his voice shaking.

"It couldn't be him. Tell me it wasn't him." My voice was shaking. Soda was screaming something about 'Damn Dallas' and Pony was trying to get him to shut up so he could listen. Both of them were gasping for air.

"I'm coming to get yall. Be there soon." Two-Bit said quickly, hanging up the phone hard on the receiver. I assumed he meant Steve too.

Minutes later, we were all in the car and Two-Bit was swerving down the highway. It would have seemed like a perfectly normal sunny day, but the clouds hung near and ominous, and the whole car was filled with cries of 'Hurry!' and praying.

We probably should have called Cherry, but by the time I was there I knew it was too late. She wasn't speaking to us either, apparently.

There were ambulance lights flickering and temporarily blinding all of us. There must have been twenty cop cars surrounding one very screwed up convertible. We had arrived, and all of us practically screamed in relief.

We all leapt out and ran toward the yellow crime scene tapes. Steve ran over to a cop, his hair sticking up randomly and the whites of his eyes showing.

"Who was it? Have you taken the DNA test?" He blurted, his voice shaking and cracking. The cop stared blankly at him, shrugging his broad shoulders. All of us slumped at once, and Soda ran to confront a hopefully better informed cop.

Finally we found one, who looked at us skeptically.

"Who are you looking for?" We hadn't told the cops Dally was missing. I looked at the others, before biting my lip and speaking quietly.

"Our friend Dallas Winston. He's been a bit…. Unstable since our other friend's death, Johnny Cade. I'm sure you've heard about it." Heat rushed to my face, because she for sure knew that we were Greasers now. It didn't really make a difference now. Remorse flooded her features.

"You poor kids." I grunted, obviously referencing that I was not a kid. We all fell silent, thinking about all of the shit in our lives for a moment.

"If it was your friend, then I'm not sure where he would have gone. There was no body, which we thought was strange. Give me your names and numbers, and we'll give you a personal call when we find out." Steve nodded and began explaining our names and backgrounds. We all stepped away.

Pony slunk onto the curb, and buried his face in his hands. Soda sat on one side wordlessly, and Two-Bit stood at a distance, looking really confused.

"Why did this have to happen to us?" Pony asked. I looked down at his sixteen year old form, knowing that he shouldn't have to worry about this stuff. We all shouldn't have to be going through this.

Pony started sobbing, and I sat down on his other side. He was trembling and the tears rolled out of his eyes thick and fast. I had a feeling that he had been holding it all in since Johnny's death. We all knew that Dallas had a breaking point, but I never noticed that he was about to reach his peak.

He could barely talk he was sobbing so hard. And it honest to God broke my heart, seeing him this way. Pony was probably the strongest out of all of us. And seeing him bawling really made me feel sick.

"Pony, it's okay. Maybe it's not him…" Soda tried to make his voice convincing as he rubbed Pony's shaking form. I felt like I should say something, but I couldn't speak.

"It's got to be him Soda! The guy driving the car had been driving his whole life, he would have never intentionally hit someone. Who else besides Dally would have walked straight into a fucking car? It all makes sense, it even happened the day he left! God DAMMIT!" Pony yelled his voice breaking and then stuttering into gasping sobs again. I usually would have reprimanded him for his language, but I knew it wouldn't make a difference. If Dallas was here then he would have congratulated him.

Soda looked at me, his expression lost. I looked toward the ground, tears forming in my eyes too.

I knew that there was no way for us to run from this, or pretend that it just wasn't happening. There was no hiding anymore. As much as I hated it, we were never going to be able to escape these endless fields of hell that was our lives. We were going to lose Dally, even if we hadn't already. We all knew that from the beginning, since the day that Johnny's eyes closed forever. We all knew that since when the Socs tried to jump Dallas for the first time. We knew that since us, the Curtis's, moved to town in the first place. And even when we returned home, we knew that the Socs would be waiting for us, outraged at the most likely leaked news of Cherry carrying Dallas's baby.

We thought we found hope when Pony said that he was talking to Johnny, but now I knew it was all just complete nonsense. Ponyboy has been hallucinating for weeks, and we all had no hope left so we just tried our best to make something out of nothing. Because we had nothing.

And by the way the cops were looking at us, the three brothers, crying on each other's shoulders, I knew what they saw. They saw three boys, without parents, without two friends. They saw one younger boy who was just losing it because he couldn't take it anymore. They saw another boy always stuck in the middle, unsure of everything. They saw the oldest boy who was trying unsuccessfully to give them what they needed. But I just couldn't do it anymore.

None of us could. This was our breaking point, just like Dally had had his.

But we will all never forget the boy who never got the chance to break in the first place.

_**Okay, I'm sorry about the updating once again. I just started reading a book for school that is very similar to the Outsiders (It's called a Separate Peace, you should really read it) and I have found some inspiration through it. I have also found some inspiration from an idea that a reviewer presented to me, so I might actually use their idea in the future. I am going to be very slow at updating, I can tell you that, but please review with ideas and it might help me get through this awful writers block phase. I hope you liked this chapter, although it was a bit dark, and please review! I love you guys soo much, and thanks for all of the support you have given me that I never deserved.**_

_**~Lots of love,**_

_**Alaina**_


	14. Chapter 14

Ch 14:

"_I keep running away, even from the good things." _

~AM (Running Away)

**Ponyboy's POV:**

The wall felt cool against my throbbing head as I heard the yelling coming from the next room. The entire gang except for me and Soda were in there, including Cherry. It made me too sick to even look at her, and Soda hated the fighting, so we both just decided to stay out of things.

I could hear everything they said, even through the dense walls. Darry was the main one hollering, at Cherry, at everyone. Soda was sobbing quietly next to me on our bed but my own tears were dried. A sort of hollowness replaced it, even though I know I was still bleeding somewhere. We all were, at least I think.

"What am I supposed to do? I can't care for them anymore, God dammit! We cannot deal with this while we have all of this finance issues and everything! There's nothing I can do, and it isn't our fault that your parents kicked you out! Pony has already gone through enough, and HE IS ONLY FUCKING FIFTEEN. Even if he does come back it isn't going to change a thing Sherri! He was NEVER going to support you and you sure have a lot of nerve coming back here after what you did to him and to our family." Maybe she didn't deserve all that, but she did have nerve coming to us and asking us for money. And I had never seen Darry this angry; he never usually cussed around me or Soda. I could hear her weak responses; she didn't even have the emotional strength to cry.

"Do you think we're going to a boys home Soda?" I whispered my voice hoarse from the night's events. Dally… gone. Possibly not even leaving a body in our wake. Why would he do this to us? Johnny didn't even get a chance to talk to him, not that anyone cared about my theories anymore….

_Help us Johnny_. I pleaded, closing my eyes and trying to breathe regularly.

"I don't know Pony." Soda whispered. I turned my eyes away from his form laying under the sheets and stood up, using the wall for support.

"Where are you going?" Soda asked, his voice a monotone. He had been blank ever since we came home from the crime scene yesterday. I pushed the thought out of my mind and continued to the door. I didn't answer him.

I walked out into the living room and reflected on the scene in front of me. Cherry was leaning against the counter, talking in low broken tones with her hand resting on her slightly swollen stomach. I couldn't hear her she was so quiet, but apparently my big brother could. Darry was seething and pacing in front of her, while the others just stared uncomfortably at the floor.

I leaned against the wall, feeling the dizziness overcome me. I hadn't been feeling so well.

"Please, can yall keep it down?" I said. Even though my voice was barely heard, everyone fell silent and looked at me. I avoided their eyes. "I don't feel great and we all need rest." I attempted to explain, but everyone's eye except for Cherry's seemed rather glazed over. They were unresponsive.

"You don't know I bad I just need a place to stay." She whispered, a tear gathering in those eyes I used to think were so beautiful. I looked toward Darry, whose face was hard.

"Just let her stay here Darry, just for a bit. Just until he comes back." I sighed, unable to resist her gaze. We were all she had, and we all knew what it felt like to lose the one thing that could keep you together. Darry gave me a stern glare before sweeping into his bedroom, slamming the door behind him. He peeked his head out and bored his pale blue green eyes through me.

"He isn't coming back Pony. She can stay until she gets a job." Then he threw the door closed for real. I sighed.

"Don't get any trouble, you hear?" I snapped, walking to the kitchen and grabbing my coat.

"Where are you going?" Cherry asked, her voice shaking. Two-Bit looked up and looked at me in curiosity as well. I looked between them for a moment until Steve raised his head as well.

"I'm going to go find Dallas." I said simply. I shrugged my coat on, and ignoring their wide eyed stares as I grabbed a chunk of money sitting on the counter. I also grabbed some Asprin, tucking into my coat pocket along with the money. And then I walked through the front door. No way did I look back, no, I only looked ahead.

Catching a bus was easy, but sitting there an avoiding my runaway thoughts was the hard part. What if he wasn't there? He could honestly be anywhere, but I refused to believe he was dead.

There were only a few passengers on the bus, and the driver gave me a bewildered look when I boarded. I guess I was a bit young to be riding the bus by myself this late, but I think he was staring because I was a Greaser and riding the bus this late.

There was a Soc on the bus, but he was alone. He gave me a look when I sat a few seats back from him, but turned around after I flipped him off. Things had been real tense between the Socs and Greasers, and Darry had talked to Tim Sheppard and heard that his gang was getting it pretty rough. There was talk of a rumble, but none of us wanted the trouble.

Tim Sheppard looked a lot older than I last saw him. I guess Dally's disappearance was taking a toll on him as well, since Dally had been the first thing he asked about when he arrived this afternoon. He cursed him out fondly, than quickly changed the subject. He looked dejected by the fact that Dally is probably laying dead somewhere.

But he's not dead, no, not like everyone thinks.

Tim explained how he was going to get his boys not to pick fights with the Socs, but since they usually started it, it was going to be difficult. He also agreed that another rumble but seriously result in worse injuries then last time. We had all gotten older and stronger, and so had the Socs. We couldn't take any more deaths, and neither could they. We were at a draw.

Johnny wouldn't have wanted another rumble; yet again Dallas would have welcomed it. Their friendship was so hard to understand since they were absolute opposites. But I knew that was what Dallas wanted, that Johnny would never become like him,

But I wondered if he knew that he would eventually end up like Johnny? I don't mean dead, I'm referring to the way Dallas had changed when Cherry came along and Johnny left. It surprised as all, but now we all understood.

The bus screeched to a stop at the train station and I hopped off. The Soc rammed his elbow into my chest. I gritted my teeth, wanting so badly to fight back. But I walked away towards a group of benches to look at what time the train to Windrixville left. This took a much greater strength then punching him would have.

I had fifteen minutes. I sat down and looked at all of the oblivious people, none of them knowing that my world was falling apart.

A beautiful dark haired woman was laughing with an equally handsome man closest to me then the other pedestrians. They looked rich, but not Soc type of rich. They just looked genuinely carefree, but there was a look to them that told them they were not as cruel as Socs were.

Yes, we were back to square one with the whole hating Socs things. We knew it was partly our fault with Dally getting Cherry pregnant, but it was mostly Dally's fault after all. I think that's why Darry is so pissed.

"Aren't you a bit young to be riding a train by yourself?" The dark haired woman's eyes landed on me. She sure was pretty, with startling blue eyes, but she must have been Darry's age. Her hand was intertwined with the man next to her anyways. I opened and closed my mouth for a minute in shock that she was speaking with me.

"I think I'll be fine." I didn't mean to sound so cold, but I guess that was the way I was going to be talking from now on.

"I've seen you on the news." She said, sitting down next to me on the bench. Her husband I assumed sat next to her and stared at me with interest. She either did not notice my rudeness, or did and was ignoring it on purpose.

"Yeah." I said, feeling my face turn red at her reference to not only my class, but the recent events in my life that now the whole world knew about. I felt humiliated by how I was so ratty compared to them. They both seemed so sympathized, but not in the pitying ways like most were. They reminded me of someone, but I couldn't put my finger on whom.

"Where are you heading?" The man asked, leaning forward and looking at me with modest caring eyes. Suddenly I realized why they looked so familiar. The look on their eyes and written on their faces were so parenting, that they reminded me of my own parents. This revelation shocked me for a moment, and I stared at both of them openly for a moment. Then I realized he had asked me something.

"Oh, I was heading to Jay Mountain." I answered, blinking and looking at my feet.

"That's a long walk from the train stop." The woman said, adjusting her coat to remind me how cold it was out. It was supposed to be summer, but it was a bit chilly.

"I don't mind. Wait, have you been to Jay Mountain?" They both nodded in unison.

"We were there when the fire occurred, but we live a few miles from it." My breath caught at mention of the fire. I nodded and checked the clock again. I still had five minutes.

"Were heading there too, do you need a ride?" The man asked. I tilted my head, narrowing my eyes. Since I had grown up in an environment where the only people you could trust was your own family and the few friends you found, I found myself doubting their sincere sounding offer.

"I don't… I really shouldn't…" I mumbled. The second I uttered these words their faces fell.

"I hate to think of you walking all alone, please just consider it?" The woman asked, reaching forward and touching my arm gently. I wanted to flinch away, but something told me to trust them. It must have been the way her brows furrowed like my mothers had.

"Alright, thank you." I said after a moment of their pleading gazes. They both broke out into smiles, and I followed them onto the waiting train.

The ride wasn't as bad as the bus ride had been. The train seemed full of life, with chattering and talking coming from every set of seats. I sat next to the couple I had met and the station. The woman's name was Miranda, and man's Walter.

They were so talkative, yet seemed to stray around the subject of me. They didn't make me feel as though they only wished to talk about themselves; it was more as if they were sparing me from talking about something I really would rather avoid. There were a few touchy moments though, as there had to be.

"You've been through so much, yet I don't see how you could even stand heading back to the site where it all began." Walter said. His tone was not unkind, only curious, but Miranda gave him a look nonetheless.

"I just need to see if he's there. My missing friend that is." I said, my voice lowered.

They moved on though, and did manage to get my mind off of everything with stories of their six year old twins, their business, and even the stories of their relationship. I found myself laughing and talking like I hadn't for years. I talked to them as openly as I had with Johnny, and it was comforting.

Once we left the train we headed towards their parked car. It was a real tuff Mustang, and just sitting in it made me feel ten times tuffer.

"Do you need a place to stay tonight?" Miranda asked, gazing at me through the review mirror. I snapped out of my trance that was brought on by how amazing the car is. I looked back at her face, with eyes that so openly just wanted to help.

"I'm fine; I'll just stay at the church." I answered. I had already been such of a burden.

"Are you sure? It's practically gone, there are only ruins." Walter jumped in. They always seemed to have similar thoughts, I had noticed. They even finished each other's sentences, just like my parents would do when they were really into a story.

"I'm sure. I think my friend will be there." They both went quiet after thought and the only sound we heard for the rest of the ride was the radio, playing some slow jazz song.

The ride wasn't long, and before I knew it I was out of the car and thanking them. The air was a bit warmer, and I could see the moon and stars perfectly just like the nights spent here with Johnny. They hugged me and offered to let me stay, but I turned them down once again. I had never seen such pure, kind people. I waved goodbye as they drove off, but my thoughts were already far away from them.

I turned and faced the one place most of my dreams had taken place. Sure, it did look a little marred, but the church was ultimately still the same. Parts of it were missing, or covered with soot, but it was still the place of Johnny's last days.

I could see a figure inside, and I took a deep breath. Then I entered the church, not sure of who I would find inside.

_**Sorry for the late update, but Dally will be in the next one. I know I suck, but please review! I'm going to end this story soon, so I want to reach 50 reviews before then. Thanks a bunch for sticking with me and reviewing, I promise I will make the ending strong and try update as soon as possible!**_

_**~Lots of love,**_

_**Alaina**_


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